


I'm Running Out of Breath (But I (Don't) Have Stamina)

by Rebelguitargirl2015



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Blow Jobs, Drama, F/F, G!p Lexa, Hand Jobs, Porn with Feelings, Smut, lots of feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2019-11-09 09:47:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17999525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rebelguitargirl2015/pseuds/Rebelguitargirl2015
Summary: Lexa has a really hard time lasting long in bed. Luckily, for her, her best friend Clarke, is willing to help her out with that problem.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short little fic that got the best of me haha. It'll be around 10 chapters or so. I know I say it a lot, but I'm getting ready to upload majority of my stories after this one, including a new story and Number 25 and its sequel. 
> 
> Follow me on tumblr, rebelguitargirl, for any questions!
> 
> I hope you enjoy this because it's pure smut!

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“Alright, Lexa. I’m setting the timer to three minutes. We almost reached two minutes last week.” Clarke Griffin said to her best friend, who was sprawled out on her bed in her dorm room. “Also, because I don’t know when Raven is going to be back.”

 

“I can’t last three minutes!” Lexa Woods protested, then realized the weight of her words and flushed in embarrassment.

 

“I know, but we made some progress last week right?” Clarke asked with a slight shrug, which made Lexa flush even more.

 

They’d only been doing this for two weeks, only once each week. Lexa had gotten absolute nowhere with this little problem of hers, and she was starting to wonder if she was becoming a burden to Clarke.

 

But then Clarke towered over her, with her golden blonde hair, smelling like coconut, and a shy smile on her face.

 

“I can’t start the timer until you pull your pants down.” Clarke looked nervous when she leaned over her, but her words were steady.

 

Lexa swallowed hard. It was nearing late afternoon, a perfect time for them to do it because Clarke’s class was in an hour and Raven, Clarke’s roommate, was already gone for the day.

 

Lexa couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t thinking about doing this during her morning classes, but she wasn’t necessarily planning on doing it today. Friday’s were her days to catch up with her reading before working the weekend. She didn’t work all weekend, but wanted to be ahead of her studies.

 

She really hadn’t planned on doing this, but then Clarke texted her. Clarke normally texted her first, but for the first time, Lexa felt like maybe Clarke actually wanted to do this, not just because she needed her help.

 

Lexa was well into her sophomore year of college and had her fair share of hookups, but the last one was just disastrous. To the point where the other girl had laughed at Lexa for finishing so early. It had happened in the past with her other hookups, where she couldn’t even last five minutes inside of them before she was a goner.

 

Lexa was determined to improve her stamina. She had told Clarke about it one day when she was helping her with her math homework and Clarke had offered to help her which Lexa found ridiculous like they were talking about the weather.

 

She didn’t think Clarke was actually being serious, but then they went back to Clarke’s dorm and Clarke had demanded her to pull her pants and then was giving her a hand job faster than Lexa could blink.

 

Clarke was amazed that Lexa hadn’t even lasted a minute before she was erupting all over Clarke’s hand. Lexa chalked it up to being a while since her last hookup because she was mortified that she wouldn’t be able to please the next girl she was with. After that had happened, Clarke was determined to help Lexa out with her problem.

 

When Clarke’s blonde hair tickled her face, Lexa snapped back into reality and lifted her hips. Clarke was watching her the entire time with an unreadable expression as she waited patiently for her to pull her pants down to her ankles.

 

Lexa laid down against her pillows, one hand wrapped around Clarke’s wrist. Lexa was getting harder by the second and all Clarke was doing was looking at her. She hadn’t touched her yet and Lexa jerked her hips up impatiently.

 

“I’m going to start the timer now.” Clarke’s voice had lowered, which just made Lexa grunt in response. Clarke reached over on her nightstand and as soon as the timer started, she grabbed a hold of Lexa’s dick.

 

Lexa jumped in response, but didn’t have time to react because Clarke was already pumping her hand. Lexa’s eyes went wide and her hand tightened around Clarke’s wrist that wasn’t currently jerking her off.

 

Lexa could’ve sworn she heard Clarke purr beside her, but she was so wrapped up in what Clarke was doing that she couldn’t think straight.

 

“Almost half a minute, definite improvement.” Clarke praised beside her and Lexa almost lost it when Clarke looked back at with her, with slightly darker eyes. Was Clarke enjoying this as much as she was? Lexa could never tell because they didn’t really talk about it outside of their weekly meetups.

 

Clarke’s hand was going at a decent tempo, not too fast, but certainly not too slow. Her movements were just right and Lexa let out a small moan to show Clarke how much she was enjoying it.

 

Clarke’s hand was pumping from the base of her dick to the head. Lexa could feel it throbbing beneath her touch, and groaned when a bit of pre–cum came out. That made it easier for Clarke to jerk her off and her movements became slightly faster.

 

Clarke was squeezing the head of her dick and rubbing her palm over it every time she came up to touch her and Lexa’s breathing became harsh. She was trying to stay still under Clarke’s touch, but Clarke’s hands were so soft and her movements felt so good that Lexa jerked her hips up once before Clarke broke free of her hold to press her hips down.

 

With both of Lexa’s hands loose, she gripped the bed sheets around her because she could already feel herself lose control. Lexa had no idea how long she’d lasted, but when Clarke came up and squeezed the head of her dick, Lexa let out a loud groan before erupting all over Clarke’s hand.

 

Clarke let out a surprise gasp, not expecting it yet because the timer hadn’t gone off yet. Lexa was a bit embarrassed, but seriously, Clarke had magic hands and Lexa knew she was screwed.

 

“How long did I last?” Lexa asked, her body still stuttering with her orgasm.

 

“A minute and forty seconds.” Clarke answered before she got up off the bed. Lexa scrambled to pull her pants up as Clarke wiped her hands off with some napkins.

 

Lexa looked down at the proof that she was seriously a loser for finishing so soon and sighed in disappointment.

 

“It’s okay, Lexa.” Clarke heard how disappointed her friend was and patted her on her back.

 

“I could…. I mean… do you want…”

 

“I have a class to get to.” Clarke spoke over her gently, knowing exactly what Lexa was trying to ask her. “I should get going.”

 

“Oh, right.” Lexa nodded slowly and stood there awkwardly for a moment. As Clarke gathered her things, Lexa took this as her cue to leave.

 

“There’s a party tonight,” Clarke said, just before Lexa left her dorm. “Do you think you’ll be there?”

 

“I don’t know, Clarke…”

 

“Oh come on,” Clarke encouraged. “Just have a couple of drinks.”

 

“Will Finn be there?”

 

“Who cares?” Clarke snorted, throwing her backpack over her shoulder. “I want you to come.”

 

Lexa thought about it for a few moments. She really did have a lot of work to do, but she could try to get most of it done when she got back to her dorm. Plus, seeing Clarke tonight would be amazing, even if Finn was there.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Cool.” Clarke said simply, but she was grinning from ear to ear and Lexa took a moment to savor how beautiful Clarke looked in the dim light of her dorm.

 

“Well, I’ll see you later?”

 

“Yeah, see ya.”

 

* * *

 

 

Parties were never Lexa’s scene. They were always loud and people were drunk and their stupidity shone. Lexa knew and was friends with the guy that was hosting the party, and that made her feel a little more safe.

 

A few people looked at her strangely as she walked through the apartment. Even they could tell that she didn’t want to be here. Lexa almost contemplated leaving, but then she heard a voice over the music.

 

“Lexa!” Clarke called happily. Lexa could already tell she had been drinking. “You made it!”

 

“Yeah, just for a drink or two!” Lexa said over the music and Clarke gave her a lazy grin.

 

Lexa was going to ask her if she wanted to go somewhere quieter, but groaned slightly at the guy walking toward them.

 

“Hey, Clarke!” Finn said happily upon finding the blonde in the crowd. Clarke turned to him and politely said hi before focusing her attention back on Lexa.

 

“We should dance.” Finn offered slightly, a hopeful smile on his face.

 

Lexa tried not to be bothered by the way Clarke seemed to be thinking about it. She wasn’t hers and they weren’t together so she couldn’t get mad. Lexa had to keep reminding herself of that as she waited another few seconds before Clarke finally shook her head.

 

“I’m going to hang with Lexa.” Clarke said and turned back to Lexa.

 

Finn looked annoyed by the answer, casting a glare Lexa’s way.

 

“She’ll still be here by time the song is over.” Finn reasoned, but Clarke just shook her head.

 

“Not now, Finn.” Clarke huffed in annoyance and Finn scoffed.

 

“So, what?” Finn asked outraged. “You’d rather hang with this nerd?”

 

Lexa stayed silent beside Clarke. If only Finn knew that this nerd was hooking up with the girl he was so clearly in love with. It made Lexa laugh on the inside. Finn didn’t stand a chance and he was never going to figure that out.

 

Finn wasn’t wrong though. When Lexa moved two hours away to go to a college she had only dreamed of getting into when she was younger, she only had her studies to cling on to.

 

And then… she met Clarke.

 

This beautiful, mysterious blonde had taken a liking to her. Maybe it was because she was passing their math class and Clarke wasn’t. Maybe it was because Clarke desperately needed her help… and Lexa was willing to give it.

 

She refused at first. But all Clarke had to do was flash her, her world famous pout and Lexa was already trying to find a time for her to tutor Clarke.

 

Tutor sessions, quickly became like therapy sessions. Once they were done getting their work done and Clarke was finally a little bit above failing, they started opening up about their lives.

 

Lexa had only one real friend in her life and her name was Anya. She got accepted to a community college back home so she could be close to her mom, who had lupus.

 

She wasn’t all alone out here. She had Clarke and this guy named Lincoln, who was hosting this party. Lincoln was atypical frat boy with the button up tees and khakis, but he was really sweet and super tall.

 

Lexa thought Anya would laugh at her for becoming friends with someone like him. He was so cocky and arrogant, but Lexa quickly figured out, he stood up for the people that he cared about.

 

It was kind of hard not to talk to Lincoln because he was always at the gym bright and early like she was. Lexa found it relaxing to work out before her day of classes. (Lexa found out quickly during her first year here, that night classes weren’t for her). Clarke was the complete opposite. She would always say: _the later, the better_ and she liked afternoon and night classes better.

 

Lexa found out that Lincoln could be just as awkward and shy as she was. At first, he barely uttered a word to her, but now he would text her in the morning and ask if she was on her way to the gym, which she would quickly reply and say she was. That happened during the end of her first year here. Lincoln was in the middle of his junior year, just a year older than Lexa. Lexa was in the middle of her sophomore year, as most of the people at this party were too.

 

But that didn’t mean Lexa needed to converse with any of them… besides Clarke.

 

“No, you go ahead.” Lexa said, pushing away the one person she actually wanted to talk to. She didn’t feel like fighting for this, because there was nothing to fight over.

 

Clarke told her that she had slept with Finn her freshman year. It happened once and Finn had clung to her ever since. Clarke told her that she wasn’t really interested in Finn and besides, Raven totally had a thing for him. Lexa wanted to desperately believe that Clarke wasn’t interested in him because of her, but Lexa could never tell what Clarke was thinking.

 

So, Lexa did what she did best and walked away from the scene before Clarke could say anything to her.

 

Lexa went to go find Lincoln and hung out with him for a long while. Talking about new gym workouts they would try out on Monday. Lexa had the whole weekend to relax, although she had a shift down at the bar tomorrow. Weekend classes were strictly forbidden for her, since she had to work. It was like a secret code that weekend classes were the absolute worst, and they were. Lexa had hoped she could spend the little bit of free time she had with Clarke this weekend. Clarke always made it a habit to come down to the bar when she was working and keep her company.

 

Lexa went over and grabbed another beer from Lincoln’s fridge. He would always claim that she was welcomed to anything in his apartment, but the rest of the people weren’t. It made Lexa feel special as she made her way to the patio out back.

 

It was still freezing outside, even though spring was just around the corner. Lexa pulled her jacket around her tighter before taking a sip of her beer. It was quiet out here and Lexa could actually hear herself thinking.

 

Lincoln had quickly left her when a shorter brunette named Octavia came over to him. Lexa recognized her because Clarke was always hanging out with her.

 

Lexa may have been at this party, but for a brief second she wished Anya was here with her. She missed her dearly and college wasn’t the same without her. It pained her that Anya wasn’t here, but they Skype or FaceTime almost everyday.

 

“I find you out here all the time.” The raspy voice chuckled before Lexa heard a door close behind them. Lexa physically jumped at being interrupted from her thoughts and looked up at Clarke, who looked down at her with bright blue eyes.

 

“I’m trying.”

 

“Barely.” Clarke snorted before sitting down beside the girl.

 

“Who would want to be around a girl who can barely last two minutes anyways?” Lexa huffed, taking a bitter sip of her beer. “It’s embarrassing.”

 

“I would.” Clarke said softly. “And thanks for leaving me back there with Finn.”

 

Lexa opened her mouth to speak before she just sighed.

 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do. He really likes you and–“

 

“I told you that I don’t like him.” Clarke said adamantly.

 

“I mean, I don’t see why not. You’re single and he’s single and–“

 

“He’s not who I want right now.” Clarke interrupted her and Lexa almost choked on her beer.

 

She played it cool by looking out at the woods behind Lincoln’s apartment. She was terrified to ask Clarke to elaborate, but was intrigued to hear her answer. Lexa just sat there, wondering what to do.

 

“Don’t have an aneurysm on me now.” Clarke laughed slightly and Lexa cleared her throat.

 

“It’s nice out tonight.” Lexa said instead. She refused to have a feelings talk with Clarke when they’d both been drinking.

 

“It is.”

 

It was strange, looking over at Clarke. She had an unreadable expression on her face and Clarke was never easy to read. Clarke never let her touch her during this arrangement.

 

They hadn’t even… _kissed_.

 

Was Lexa just a ‘right now’ to Clarke? Or was she something more? Did her heart flutter whenever she texted her or did she enjoy hanging out (clothed) with her?

  


Lexa didn’t know and maybe it was the liquid courage running through her body that allowed her to ask:

 

“Why don’t you ever let me touch you?”

 

Lexa didn’t look over at Clarke. She wouldn’t be able to figure out what she was thinking anyways. Lexa wasn’t sure Clarke was even going to answer with how long it took.

 

“Because I figured it would be even harder for you to last.”

 

“So, are you saying your vagina is that good?” Lexa asked, not feeling all that odd about what she was saying. Clarke had seen her dick after all.

 

“I mean, I don’t like to brag, but I’ve been told by many people that it’s good.”

 

Lexa almost frowned in disgust at the thought of how many people had seen her friend naked, and she had yet to even kiss her. Lexa was really starting to wonder if this arrangement was a good idea or not.

 

“But if you really want to,” Lexa listened as Clarke spoke nervously. “You could. I just figured we should work on you first before that happens?”

 

“So, you want me to?” Lexa asked insecurely. She figured since she couldn’t last long, Clarke wanted nothing to do with her. She thought that Clarke was taking pity on her.

 

“Of course I want you to, Lexa. I wouldn’t have agreed if I didn’t want you to.” Clarke spoke easily and Lexa had to calm her beating heart.

 

She didn’t say anything though, not trusting her voice. Not trusting herself to tell Clarke how much she appreciated this. She didn’t want to think too much about it. She just wanted to do it.

 

“So, what do you say we go inside and dance?” Clarke asked to save Lexa from further embarrassment. (She also wasn’t sure they were ready for this conversation yet). “You do owe me for leaving me alone with Finn. I didn’t dance with him.”

 

That made Lexa let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding it. It made Clarke smile softly.

 

“Okay, lets go dance.” Lexa smiled. They both knew how terrible her dance moves were, but Clarke wanted to be close to Lexa right now and this was the best excuse she had.

 

Clarke stood up and held her hand out, smiling widely when Lexa grabbed a hold of it and jumped up. They both walked back inside hand and hand, smiles on their faces, unbeknownst for the same reason.

 

* * *

 

 

It was a week later and Lexa had just finished up with her classes. She was exhausted from having back to back classes, but she didn’t want them spaced out where they took up her entire day. It was late in the afternoon and she had the rest of her evening to relax.

 

Once Lexa was inside her dorm, she spotted her roommate on the bed with another girl. If it wasn’t for the fact that her roommate and the girl she was with, were really close friends with Clarke, Lexa probably wouldn’t even bother talking to them.

 

But Harper and Lexa quickly bonded over the fact that they both knew Clarke. The beginning of the school year was a bit awkward because they didn’t really talk except for how they’d like to keep their room organized and their showering times. Although they shared a bathroom with two other girls, Lexa would not like to shower if she knew Harper wanted to.

 

When Lexa started hanging out with Clarke, Harper started striking up conversations with her randomly. It started out with how she was liking her classes this semester to let’s hang out with Clarke this weekend. Lexa was also able to get them low price drinks whenever Clarke and her friends would come into the bar. Lexa wasn’t friends with all of Clarke’s friends, but Harper wasn’t bad.

 

She was pretty funny and was actually a good study partner. And when Lexa realized that Clarke hung out with Harper a lot, she realized that all three of them could just hang out together.

 

“Hey, Lexa!” Harper greeted happily and Lexa smiled slightly.

 

“Hey, Lexa.” The girl beside Harper said and Lexa smiled politely.

 

“You remember Monroe, right?” Harper gestured to the girl and at the name, Lexa finally nodded.

 

“Yeah, your girlfriend, right?” Lexa asked and Harper’s cheeks went red. Lexa realized that maybe she shouldn’t have asked that out loud, by the way Monroe’s eyes went wide and quickly went to go grab her shower caddy.

 

“I’m going to go shower now. Bye, guys.” Lexa quickly left the room and closed the bathroom door behind her.

 

* * *

 

 

When Lexa got out of the shower and was dressed, she left the bathroom, relieved that neither Harper or Monroe were there.

 

Lexa went over to her phone that she had left on her desk in the rush to get out of the room with both of them. She smiled slightly when she saw she had a few texts from Anya telling her about her day and grinned when she saw a text from Clarke.

 

 **Clarke:** ( _5:00_ _pm_ ) _You should come over so we can hang out_

 

 **Clarke:** ( _5:01 pm_ ) _You should also bring pizza with you_

 

Lexa chuckled at the texts, a thrill running through her before she sighed.

 

 **Lexa:** ( _5:25 pm_ ) _Don't you have class?_

 

Lexa didn’t have to wait long for Clarke’s reply.

 

 **Clarke:** ( _5:26 pm_ ) _It’s Tuesday and if you hurry up, you just might get lucky_

 

Lexa had forgot that it was Tuesday and Tuesdays meant that Clarke didn’t have any classes.

 

 **Lexa:** ( _5:27 pm_ ) _I aced my psychology exam today so I would say I could get lucky tonight_

 

 **Clarke:** ( _5:27 pm_ ) _We’ll see about that (;_

 

Instead of responding Lexa just grabbed her coat and slipped her boots on. She was wearing sweats, but it was freezing outside so she didn’t care about what she looked like right now.

 

She went to the pizza place just off campus before heading to Clarke’s dorm, smiling despite the cold wind repeatedly hitting her cheeks.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke answered her door in a big t–shirt with very, _very_ short shorts. Lexa tried not to stare as she walked through the door, but Lexa was already drooling and she was sure it had nothing to do with the hot pizza boxes in her hands.

 

“Hey.” Clarke greeted, standing on her tippy toes to pull Lexa in for a hug. Lexa held her back before dropping the pizzas down on the small coffee table in the middle of the room.

 

“I got some pizza.” Lexa said proudly, knowing how much the blonde loved pizza. She would’ve gotten one box, but Clarke could eat a whole pie by herself _and_ Clarke hated pepperoni.

 

“It smells amazing.” Clarke said as she walked back over to her bed. Lexa thought she was doing it on purpose as she reached down to type on her laptop.

 

“Wanna watch some Netflix?” Clarke asked, her back to her and her butt slightly in the air. Lexa scolded herself for looking down, but who wouldn’t? Clarke’s butt was on full display and if Clarke bent down anymore, Lexa would finally see what she always dreamed about. Just another inch and Lexa would be able to–

 

“Eyes up here, Perv.” Clarke threw a pillow at Lexa’s face. Lexa’s eyes went wide at being caught, but Clarke had an understanding look on her face. Hopefully, Lexa wasn’t the only one that wanted to do something tonight.

 

“Eyes are up.” Lexa reassured her and swallowed thickly. Clarke laughed as she went to go get some plates and handed one to Lexa.

 

“I was thinking a scary movie or a comedy?”

 

“Whatever works for me.” Lexa said, too caught up now in the pizza that was on her plate. They both went to sit down on the bed and Clarke put on a scary movie before they both devoured their pizza.

 

* * *

 

 

It was an hour into the movie. After they finished eating, they cuddled up to each other on the pillows. Clarke was glad that Raven wasn’t here, something about a really important science project due tomorrow and she was crashing with Jasper and Monty to finish it. Clarke thought this would be the perfect opportunity to invite Lexa over. Even in a simple _Grounders_ sweatshirt and sweatpants, Lexa looked absolutely stunning with her hair up in a messy bun.

 

While Lexa seemed genuinely interested to see how this movie ended, Clarke had a completely different agenda.

 

It started with Clarke putting her hand on Lexa’s thigh. Since their arrangement, her hand being on Lexa wasn’t unwelcome, although it made Lexa’s heart race. It stayed there for a few minutes. Long enough to figure out that the people in the cabin were being hunted by a crazy killer outside and that if any of them leave, it was basically a death sentence. Clarke had to admit that she was interested in the movie and would probably finish it _after_ what she had planned.

 

“Lexa.” Clarke called softly, surprising herself with how low her voice had gotten. Lexa grunted to let her know she was listening, but kept her eyes glued to Clarke’s laptop.

 

“ _Lexa_.” Clarke sang and drummed her fingers against Lexa’s thigh before sliding it higher.

 

Lexa snapped her head up to look at Clarke, who was looking back at her with mischievous eyes.

 

“Yes?” Lexa squeaked out, having a feeling she knew what was about to happen. It sent an electric shock through her body.

 

Clarke didn’t say anything as she paused the movie and climbed on top of Lexa. Lexa was shocked because Clarke had never did anything like this in their arrangement before. Clarke was looking at her as if asking for her permission and Lexa nodded.

 

Clarke got comfortable in Lexa’s lap and Lexa was brave enough to hold her hips steady.

 

“ _Clarke_.” Lexa groaned as Clarke rocked in her lap.

 

“I’ve been thinking,” Clarke husked out. She was taking deep, calculated breaths to stop herself from ripping Lexa’s clothes off and rocking her world. “Maybe you could touch me tonight?”

 

Lexa’s eyes went wide again and her mouth dropped open. Just the mere thought of touching Clarke, had her dick hardening beneath her.

 

“Would you really want that?” Lexa asked, still not believing it.

 

“I mean yeah. I know this arrangement is for you, but we could do more?”

 

“Of course.” Lexa answered a little too quickly, before clearing her throat. “Only if you want to.”

 

“God, Lexa,” Clarke whispered, her breath tickling Lexa’s lips. “I want to.”

 

Lexa jerked her hips into Clarke when the blonde leaned down and left an opened mouth kiss on her neck. She sucked for a moment before pulling away and towering over her lips.

 

“You can kiss me.” Lexa found herself saying, wanting nothing more than to taste Clarke.

 

That was all Clarke needed to pull their lips together and place a hesitant kiss to Lexa’s lips. Lexa immediately caught Clarke’s bottom lip, sucking it into her mouth and Clarke gasped on top of her. Lexa couldn’t believe she was finally kissing Clarke. Thinking that she had achieved the most sacred prize because she finally knew what Clarke tasted like, how she felt when she was kissed speechless, and the noises she made when Lexa slipped her tongue into her mouth.

 

“Clarke, you have to stop grinding on me.” Lexa’s words made her feel hot and fuzzy inside. It was so warm inside of Clarke’s dorm and Lexa was starting to pant with the movement of Clarke’s hips.

 

“Take your pants off and I’ll start the timer.”

 

“I know already that I’m not going to last two minutes.” Lexa said, her voice laced with desire.

 

“I guess that means we have to keep practicing, doesn’t it?” Clarke asked as she set her timer for two minutes.

 

Lexa busied herself with pulling her pants down, trying to not exploded when Clarke asked her to pull them all of the way off. Her underwear were right behind them as Clarke climbed back on the bed. Lexa smiled when Clarke pulled her in for a quick kiss, loving the way their lips fit together before Clarke looked down at her cock.

 

Lexa was never self–conscious about her dick. She was standing at eight long inches and the ladies loved it. The only thing she needed to work on was how long she could last in bed before she hooked up with anyone else. (Lexa didn’t know why, but the thought of hooking up with anyone else didn’t sit right with her). Her member was thick and a few veins were poking out. The head was swollen red with her release.

 

Lexa admired the way that Clarke was tracing the outline of her abs. She smiled when Clarke traced her name into her skin and had to pull Clarke in for another kiss. Now that Lexa knew what Clarke tasted like, she was addicted to it. The fact that Lexa could kiss Clarke at all, was more than enough for her.

 

“I’m going to start the timer now.” Clarke said, her voice a little impatient, wanting to touch Lexa already.

 

Clarke never gave her time to mentally prepare. Lexa was laying across the pillows and heard Clarke tap against her screen. And as always, the second that timer started, Clarke didn’t waste any time.

 

Clarke grabbed a hold of Lexa’s dick. She was rough with her movements because she was eager to get Lexa off (and she was extremely turned on right now). Clarke was quicker than she had ever been before. The steady tempo she normally had, was replaced with quick movements. Clarke was pumping her hand up and down at a fast pace and had Lexa moaning within seconds.

 

Lexa couldn’t get Clarke to slow down, no matter what she did. She tried placing her hand over Clarke’s, moving her hips away and even tried to stop Clarke from moving at all, but nothing detoured the blonde from getting her off. Lexa was plummeting deeper and deeper into an orgasm she could not control.

 

Clarke was moving so fast that her hand was smacking against Lexa’s hips every time she came down and when she went back up and pinched the head of Lexa’s dick, Lexa shot her head back before jerking her hips forward.

 

Lexa hated herself for ruining such a beautiful moment. She could tell Clarke was turned on and wanted to last longer for her, but there was no way. Clarke was going way too fast for her to last longer than a minute. It was pathetic and she hated how she prided herself for being such a strong, independent soul but she couldn’t last more than a minute in bed. There was something seriously wrong with her.

 

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Lexa panted out, lifting her head up so she could see Clarke. “You were going so fast.”

 

Clarke stopped the timer when she felt Lexa explode into her hand. She had never tasted what Lexa tasted like and was feeling edgy today. She had paused the timer and looked Lexa in the eyes when she lifted her hand to her mouth and gave it a slow lick. Clarke smirked when Lexa groaned again and threw her head back.

 

“That was so hot.” Lexa moaned out as she sat up.

 

“Sorry, I should’ve gone a bit slower.” Clarke purred innocently, still licking her hands greedily. Lexa had tasted sweet, really sweet with a soft tang to it. Clarke loved it.

 

Lexa swallowed hard at the sight of Clarke still hanging off her lap and licking her hands. Her hands that were currently covered in her cum.

 

“How long did I last?” Lexa asked, already fearing the answer, but she needed something to distract her from how hot Clarke was.

 

“A minute and thirty seconds.”

 

“Dammit!”

 

“It’s okay. We can keep practicing, but maybe you could do me this time around?”

 

Lexa closed her eyes for a moment, physically trying to calm herself down. Her dick was already hard again at the thought of touching Clarke’s most intimate places. Seeing her and feeling how wet she was. How wet she had made her.

 

“Take off your shorts.” Lexa liked those words coming out of her mouth and laughed at how quickly Clarke got up and slid her shorts down. They switched spots as Clarke laid down and Lexa towered on top of her. Lexa ran her hands across milky skin before leaning down and placing a kiss to Clarke’s lips.

 

Lexa curled a finger into Clarke’s underwear and pulled it down. She tried not to groan at how Clarke’s center was glistening.

 

Clarke kept it cleaned and shaved down there and it made Lexa smile. There was literally nothing wrong with the goddess she currently had underneath her. Clarke opened her legs, letting Lexa see all of her and Lexa just groaned again.

 

“Clarke, I’ve never– you are _so_ wet.” The words set a fire in Lexa’s stomach and Clarke smiled sheepishly.

 

“I want you.” Clarke whispered out in the dark room. Lexa’s ears perked up hopefully. “To touch me. I want you to touch me.”

 

Lexa tried not to be disappointed at the words. She couldn’t, not with how Clarke was dripping for her.

 

She reached out and ran a finger through slippery folds. Clarke gasped at the action and Lexa did it again.

 

Lexa ran two fingers through Clarke, a soft moan escaping her lips. Lexa was exploring all through Clarke, purposely avoiding her clit. The blonde wasn’t complaining, although she knew Lexa was teasing her.

 

“Inside.” Clarke instructed and Lexa followed her directions. She teased her entrance for a few seconds, amazed at how Clarke was keeping herself together. Lexa probably would’ve already lost control by now, but not everyone had low stamina the way she did.

 

Lexa popped one finger inside and curled it, eliciting a loud moan from Clarke. Lexa knew by now that her neighbors probably knew what they were doing, but Lexa couldn’t bring herself to care when Clarke was moaning like _that_.

 

She pulled her finger out and when she slipped back into Clarke, she added another finger.

 

“ _Fuck_.” Clarke groaned as Lexa pumped her fingers inside of her. Clarke was writhing beneath her, moaning with every other thrust.

 

Lexa was quickly figuring out that Clarke was very vocal. She had said every curse word that there was as Lexa pushed her fingers deeper and deeper inside of her. Clarke was so warm, wet and soft around her, her walls stretching as she pushed further into her. It made Lexa thrust into Clarke eagerly, imagining for a brief moment what it would be like if her dick was inside. Surely, she would cum right then and there.

 

“Faster, Lexa.” Clarke called out and Lexa sped up her movements. Clarke’s wetness was echoing around them, filling Lexa’s head with the most dirtiest thoughts. She wanted her dick inside of her, but she didn’t think she was ready for that yet. She knew she wouldn’t be able to satisfy Clarke in that way and it made her frown slightly.

 

Lexa started curling her fingers inside of Clarke a few minutes later. Lexa was amazed that Clarke had lasted this long, but she could tell the blonde was getting close. Clarke had her head thrown back and her eyes shut tight and a moan rumbled out of her chest when Lexa curled her fingers deep inside of Clarke.

 

Lexa thought of something only moments later. She licked two fingers before bringing them down to Clarke’s clit and started rubbing fast circles around it. Clarke’s eyes flew open as she stared at Lexa with want, and desire and another look that Lexa couldn’t quite decipher.

 

“Oh, just like that.” Clarke whined, her body moving on its own accord. Lexa didn’t stop pumping her fingers, addicted to how Clarke felt around her and tightened the circles around her clit.

 

“ _Oh my god!_ ” Clarke moaned out before Lexa groaned at how tight Clarke’s walls were around her fingers, fearing for a few seconds that she might break them. Clarke’s body convulsed violently on the bed. She had a death grip on her bed sheets as she moaned out a string of curse words, and what sounded oddly like Lexa’s name.

 

Lexa slipped her fingers out of Clarke when the blonde’s orgasm subsided. Lexa frowned as the cold air hit her fingers, already missing the warmth and wetness around them.

 

Lexa gave Clarke a few more minutes to recover before the blonde finally opened her eyes. The look of pure ecstasy was etched on Clarke’s face and it made Lexa smile goofily. She had just given Clarke an orgasm.

 

“Lexa, that was amazing.” Clarke whispered out, curling her finger, silently telling Lexa to come here.

 

The brunette climbed on top of her and leaned down, her lips finding Clarke’s before sighing against her.

 

“That was seriously hot.”

 

“It was.” Clarke nodded before yawning.

 

Clarke wordlessly got dressed and stopped Lexa as she tried to pull her pants up.

 

“Let me take care of that for you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More of the plot for this story is going to kick in next chapter. 
> 
> Thank you for even taking your time to read this. 
> 
> Enjoy!

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa had been dreaming of her favorite blonde all night. She dreamt about running her fingers through Clarke’s thick hair or grabbing a fist full of it whenever she did something Lexa liked.

 

Sometimes Clarke’s hair could be really curly, flowing like a goddess on the days it was really windy or sometimes Clarke would have small braids in her hair and when Lexa first met Clarke, she had the tips of hair dyed pink.

 

Clarke had stated she was going through a midlife crisis and wanted to do something drastic to get back at her mother cheating on her father. Clarke’s family was a really sore subject for her, and as far as Lexa knew, Clarke hardly talked about her mother anymore.

 

Weeks after Clarke’s father found out that Abby was cheating on him, he stormed out of the house angrily and never returned. It wasn’t until later that they found out he had gotten into a car accident and his last words were: _I still love you._

 

Clarke had nicknamed her mother ‘the green–eyed devil’ ever since.

 

Dreaming about Clarke was a natural occurrence for Lexa. It happened a lot when she first met her, but Lexa didn’t dare mention that to the blonde.

 

Sometimes her dreams would be so vivid, that Lexa would believe Clarke was with her while it was happening. But every time she opened her sleep–filled eyes, Clarke was nowhere to be seen.

 

Lexa had dreamt that they were in the mountains together. She had been enjoying herself thoroughly because Clarke decided to forgo any clothing.

 

Her dream was a mix of random things happening into one, but there was something she tuned into and that was Clarke standing at the top of the stairs, while the other side of the house was being destroyed by an extra–terrestrial force.

 

“Come on, take my hand.” Clarke whispered, her breasts swayed as she held her hand out and the monster roared beside Lexa.

 

Lexa quickly took it, wanting nothing more than to be locked away with Clarke’s naked body and just as Clarke was about to lean in to kiss her, Lexa shot up from bed from her alarm going off.

 

Lexa looked around the room in hope for Clarke. To see her. To wonder if the monster had gotten to them. Lexa seriously needed to stop dreaming so vividly about Clarke when their lives were at stake.

 

Lexa didn’t wake up to the blue eyes and blonde hair she been dreaming about for the past few hours. Instead when Lexa opened her eyes, she was meet with angry brown eyes staring at her.

 

“Thanks a lot.” Harper huffed, folding her arms when she finally saw that Lexa was awake.

 

Lexa was still trying to figure out if she was dreaming or not, but with the way that Harper threw a pillow at her which landed against the side of her head with a loud thud, she concluded that she was awake.

 

“What did I do?” Lexa curled into herself, protecting her person from any more pillows Harper wanted to throw.

 

“Zoe has been really weird to me this past week and it’s all your fault!” Harper pointed a finger at her.

 

Lexa got up slowly, stretching out her limbs, feeling her back pop and got out of bed. She was already gathering what she needed to shower for the day before looking back at Harper.

 

“It’s probably because you guys have been really close these past two years and yet, you’ve never made a move on her.” Lexa was normally the last person anyone came to when it came to dating advice.

 

It wasn’t that Lexa was necessarily bad at dating, but she didn’t do it that often. And with her little problem she was having right now, she didn’t need that type of embarrassment.

 

“Oh, shut up!” Harper screeched, her cheeks red.

 

“It’s true, Harps,” Lexa shrugged mindlessly. “Zoe is totally into you and you should make a move. I’m going to shower. See ya.”

 

Lexa quickly left the room, not wanting to be subjected to hours of relationship talk with her roommate. She’d rather get ready for the day and see what Clarke was up to.

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa got called into a meeting at the bar that Friday afternoon. Something about new policy enforcements and it was _so_ boring. Lexa had to listen to her boss, Gustus, drone on about a new policy change and how they needed to upsell some of their less popular drinks.

 

When Lexa got out of the meeting, she sighed in relief as did a few of her other co–workers. Most of them were working with her tonight as it was Friday and they needed all hands on deck.

 

“See you tonight, Lexa.” One of her co–workers, Peyton, called out. Lexa had most of her shifts with the girl and sociable personality made the nights go by quicker.

 

“See you.” Lexa said politely before bolting out of the bar and back to campus. She didn’t have any time to go see Clarke. Her shift started soon and Lexa wanted to eat beforehand.

 

She settled for a burger shop a couple blocks away from her dorm. She sat at a table near the door as she waited for her food to be made. Lexa figured she could use this time to text Clarke.

 

 **Lexa** ( _5:30 PM_ ) _Meeting was totally boring. Just wanted to see if you were up for a weekly meetup on Monday?_

 

Lexa worried her lip into her mouth before sighing deeply and hitting send.

 

Clarke’s response took longer than usual and Lexa frowned at it.

 

 **Clarke** ( _5:40 PM_ ) _Can’t_

 

Before Lexa could even begin questioning Clarke as why she couldn’t, her order was called. Lexa really didn’t have time to respond. She needed to eat and get back to the bar.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke’s response had been bugging her all weekend. They hadn’t talked since last night and Lexa wasn’t sure what was wrong. Did she do something wrong? Did she upset her in any way? Was Clarke not interested in helping her anymore?

 

Lexa was really bad at figuring people out. It was never her strong–suit and the thought of Clarke not wanting this as much as she did, was killing Lexa inside. She tried to give Clarke her space, but she was helpless. She had texted her all this morning, but she hadn’t gotten a response yet. She knew Clarke didn’t have any classes because it was Saturday. Lexa hated being ignored by Clarke and wondered if she did something.

 

Lexa changed into some jeans before marching over to Clarke’s dorm, demanding what was wrong.

 

But when Lexa got to her dorm, Raven was the only one in it.

 

“She’s not here.” Raven said flatly and Lexa didn’t like her tone. She thought she was cool with Raven, they often liked to talk about astronomy together, but with the way Raven looked completely annoyed right now, Lexa knew something wasn’t right.

 

“Can you just tell me where she is?” Lexa asked quietly, trying to make it seem like she wasn’t begging.

 

“Probably somewhere fucking Finn.” Raven said harshly, before straightening up. “I didn’t mean–“

 

“Of course you didn’t.” Lexa quipped. She didn’t know what Raven knew or if she knew anything at all. Clarke probably didn’t even tell her and the thought stung a bit. But it wasn’t like Lexa was telling people. The only true person she wanted to tell about their arrangement was thousands of miles away.

 

“I don’t know where she is,” Raven said seriously. “I walked in on her having a pretty heated conversation with her mom yesterday and I haven’t seen her since. When she gets like this, she doesn’t make the wises choices. Hence my comment about Finn.”

 

Just hearing his name, made Lexa frown in disgust, before she realized something.

 

“Her mom?” Lexa asked, one eyebrow cocked up in curiosity.

 

Raven hesitated for a moment before answering.

 

“It was pretty bad. I could hear Abby yelling over the phone and everything,” Raven recalled with a grimace. “I don’t know what they were fighting about though.”

 

Lexa stood there, helpless for a moment. She was fearing the worst because Clarke hadn’t talked to her since last night and didn’t come home. Was Clarke with someone else? Was she finding comfort in someone that wasn’t her? Clarke never talked about her family with her, so Lexa felt completely out of place right now.

 

“Look, I’m sorry, Lexa, but I have an exam on Monday and–“

 

“Yeah, I’ll go,” Lexa excused herself. “Just call me if she shows up.”

 

“Will do.” Raven said before closing the door behind her.

 

Lexa let out a huff before going back to her dorm.

 

* * *

 

 

She received a text message three hours later. It was mid–afternoon and Lexa had just eaten lunch when she got a text from Clarke. It was short and simple, but didn’t stop the frown spreading across Lexa’s face.

 

 **Clarke** ( _1:04 PM_ ) _I’m sorry_

 

Lexa wasn’t quite sure what Clarke was sorry for. She just wanted her to come back. They had their math class together on Monday, but Lexa wanted to see Clarke now. To make sure she was okay.

 

 **Lexa** ( _1:05 PM_ ) _For?_

 

Clarke responded, but not with the answer Lexa wanted.

 

Clarke ( _1:06 PM_ ) _Where are you right now?_

 

 **Lexa** ( _1:07 PM_ ) _Dorm_

 

 **Clarke** ( _1:08 PM_ ) _I’m coming over_

 

Clarke had to have sent that message just as she was entering her dorm building because a few minutes later, she heard a knock on her door.

 

Clarke looked tired and small as she opened the door. She immediately pulled Lexa into a hug and Lexa was stiff against her.

 

“Where were you?” Lexa asked as she pulled away from Clarke.

 

“I was with Finn.”

 

Raven was right and Lexa hated it.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Lexa,” Clarke sighed. “He’s the only one that I’ve truly told about this. He was usually the person I went to for all of this, but I don’t want him to be that person anymore. I want it to be you.”

 

“Me?” Lexa asked incredulously. “Clarke, you really expect me to believe nothing happened between you and Finn?”

 

“Well obviously he tried and that’s when I realized that I didn’t want to be there with him. He was just the only person outside of my friends that I could talk to about everything.”

 

“You never talk about her.” Lexa said gently. “Raven told me what happened. Is it true?”

 

“Yes.” Clarke answered. The blonde really wasn’t one to lie to her. Lexa loved that about her.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“I’m fine, Lexa.” Clarke said, even though her voice wavered. Lexa knew that she wasn’t going to get Clarke to talk. She hated that Finn probably knew more about her family than she did, but this was a sensitive topic. Lexa would wait patiently for her to open up about it.

 

“The new season of _One Day At a Time_ just got released on Netflix. Would you want to watch it with me?”

 

Clarke looked at her like she wanted to say something. Her mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. A few seconds later, Clarke lunged forward and placed a gentle kiss on Lexa’s lips.

 

Finn may know about Clarke’s mother, but he didn’t get to kiss her like this and just because she could, Lexa placed another soft kiss to Clarke’s lips.

 

Finn may know things that Lexa didn’t, but she had left Finn for her. She had rejected Finn _for her_.

 

And when Clarke cuddled up tight against Lexa as she played the new season of one of their favorite shows, Lexa couldn’t be mad at the beautiful blonde she was holding.

 

Lexa placed a kiss to Clarke’s forehead and settled against her. A smile on her face the entire time.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke had been giving her this _look_ all during math class. It was two hours of pure torture. Lexa sat in the front of the class (she sat in the front for every class) and didn’t want to make it too obvious that she was making eyes with Clarke, but she could _feel_ Clarke’s eyes on her. Watching her every move.

 

It made Lexa mess up her notes a few times, scribbling out each slip up harder than the previous. Lexa tried not to do it, but when they were down to the last twenty minutes of class, Lexa chanced a look back at the clock.

 

Clarke was sitting right in front of the clock in the back of the class. This wasn’t her biggest class and wasn’t held in an auditorium like most of her classes. This math class was relatively small, catered only to the people who actually needed this class for their major.

 

Clarke was looking at her with narrowed eyes. She would playfully point to the board whenever Lexa turned around to see her, but Lexa couldn’t stop. Clarke’s eyes weren’t the normal bright blue they always were. Something was different about them. It wasn’t like looking into the bright blue sky early in the morning. It was as if it was night time and the stars were shining in Clarke’s eyes.

 

The way Clarke was looking at her was almost like a lion trying to hunt down its prey… and then it dawned on Lexa.

 

Today was Monday and Mondays normally meant another weekly meetup.

 

The way Clarke’s eyes were darkened and how she would shift in her seat every five minutes… was Clarke looking forward to this?

 

The idea sent a thrill through Lexa and she turned back to face the professor again.

 

Did Clarke want her as much as she did? The idea of going back to Clarke’s dorm and engaging in sexual activities was almost enough to make Lexa hard, but she fought it off. She was sitting in between two girls and didn’t want to terrify them with her bulge.

 

But it was hard to hide it once the professor finally released class. Lexa heard the scrambling of students and chairs scuffing against the floor, and if she listened close enough, she heard Clarke purr in her ear as she walked out the door.

 

Lexa was _so_ fucked.

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa should’ve known the second they were sealed away from prying eyes, Clarke was going to devour her. She started with her lips, before moving down to her neck and sucking. Clarke was sucking her skin so hard, Lexa knew she was going to bruise like a rotten apple.

 

Lexa didn’t know where to put her hands. She had a couple options. In Clarke’s hair, taming the wild curls from their make out session or Clarke’s hips to steady her as she nibbled her skin, but when Clarke brushed up against her, Lexa decided that Clarke’s breasts were where she wanted them.

 

Lexa reached down and grabbed a handful of Clarke’s breasts. Clarke groaned against her skin and Lexa smiled widely at mindlessly groping Clarke. This was way better than doing any of the pile–high homework she had.

 

“Bed.” Clarke mumbled out against her assault, rubbing her tongue over the masterpiece of bruises on Lexa’s neck.

 

Lexa nodded before guiding them over to the bed. Clarke fell back with a thud and Lexa settled on top of her, pulling her in for a kiss. Clarke immediately slipped her tongue into her mouth, pulling against her hips. Clarke fumbled with Lexa’s jeans before pulling the belt off.

 

“Off.” Clarke demanded and put space between them so that Lexa could take her pants off.

 

Lexa quickly discarded the material, loving the way Clarke’s eyes zoned in on her bulge that was sticking straight out.

 

Clarke moaned as she pulled Lexa back down for a sloppy kiss. They fumbled for a bit before Lexa slipped her tongue in her mouth, Clarke meeting her in the middle. Clarke tasted like mint and the tiny chocolates she was eating during class.

 

The fact that Clarke was beneath her, kissing her with hunger and groping her body, was making Lexa’s head swirl.

 

“I wanna do some things to you.” Clarke mumbled out between sloppy kisses. Lexa whimpered against her, because there was a very long (and dirty) list of things she wanted Clarke to do to her.

 

But Clarke didn’t elaborate on what she wanted. Instead, she pulled Lexa in for a hungry kiss, sucking her bottom lip in her mouth. Lexa was panting against her and was disappointed and relieved when Clarke pulled away minutes later.

 

Clarke was planting soft kisses against her skin that made Lexa smile softly.

 

It was Clarke’s next words that made the cum Lexa was holding back come dripping out of her.

 

“Can I suck your dick?” Clarke pulled away so that she was looking at Lexa clearly. Lexa thought that wasn’t a good idea because she had a really hot blonde under her, hair tossed and lips bruised from all the kissing that they’d been doing, asking her if she wanted to suck her dick. Lexa already knew.

 

“Clarke, I don’t–“

 

“I know we probably aren’t there yet, but we can start practicing… if you want.” Clarke added shyly.

 

Of course Lexa wanted to. That was all Lexa wanted. She wanted Clarke in any way she could get her. She could barely last with Clarke’s hands, what made her think she would going to last with her mouth?

 

“You want to give me a blow job?” The words alone were enough to make Clarke groan, before looking at Lexa with hooded eyes.

 

“If you want me to.” Clarke answered back and Lexa was seriously scolding herself for how long it was taking her to make her decision.

 

(She already had her decision and nodded before Clarke could say anything else).

 

They switched positions and with Lexa laying flat on her back, she lifted her hips as Clarke pulled her underwear down and off her ankles.

 

Lexa hissed when the cold air hit her dick and was trying to think about anything else but Clarke kissing her way down her body.

 

Lexa was _tense_. So tense that Clarke was rubbing circles into her hips to try to relax her, but Lexa was on the defense. She needed to protect herself. She didn’t know from what… until it happened.

 

Clarke pulling her phone out of her pocket and setting the timer was a blur to Lexa when Clarke had her hand tightly wrapped around the base of her dick.

 

Lexa didn’t think she ever needed to protect herself from Clarke. The blonde was beautiful and actually liked spending time with her. She made Lexa’s weird habits seem normal and didn’t make fun of her that Lexa would rather study than go to a party.

 

Clarke was an amazing person, who knew how to have sex. Clarke was also very stubborn and sometimes they would butt heads because of it, but Clarke always made her feel safe. Not many people made Lexa feel like that. She had lost her father young and wasn’t all that close to her mom. She would spend the majority of holidays with Anya and her family.

 

So, Lexa really didn’t think she needed to protect herself from Clarke until now. Until Clarke guided Lexa’s dick toward her mouth. Lexa could feel Clarke’s hot breath hitting her dick and tensed up again.

 

(She couldn’t do this).

 

With one hand, she roughly pushed Clarke away from her before sitting up. This wasn’t how she wanted this to go. She hated the confusion in Clarke’s eyes, but Lexa needed to get up and away from Clarke.

 

“I– I– I’m sorry.” Lexa stuttered out. Clarke tried to keep her in place, but Lexa moved away from her and cupped herself. “I can’t, Clarke.”

 

“Lexa, I didn’t mean to make–“ Clarke stopped talking, running her dark eyes down Lexa’s frame and swallowed thickly. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

 

“I want to do this, Clarke, but I just– it’s not going to turn out good. So, maybe we should just stop before we start.”

 

“Lexa, I want to.” Clarke reassured her, looking at her with a pout.

 

“The second you put your mouth on it, I’m going to cum.” Lexa said factually and Clarke shifted on the bed.

 

“God, Lexa. You can’t say things like that and then expect me not to do anything about it.” Clarke was still shifting. The same shifting she was doing in class and Lexa groaned when she realized that Clarke was trying to relieve the tension between her legs. The tension that she had created.

 

“I’m sorry I have the stamina of a sixteen year old boy. It’s ruining so many things for me.” Lexa groaned, her hands still firmly cupping her dick.

 

“The whole point of this is to improve your stamina. We can’t improve it, if we don’t work on it. I love giving you hand–jobs, but I have a feeling that’s not the only thing you need work on.”

 

What Clarke was saying was accurate. Lexa knew this and looked at her sheepishly. She completely freaked out on her and Clarke hadn’t even done anything yet.

 

“Okay, I’m just warning you.” Lexa said cautiously as she walked back over to Clarke.

 

The blonde looked up hopeful and tugged on Lexa’s shirt. Lexa assumed the position she was previously in and slowly took her hands away from her dick. It was rock hard when Clarke grasped it again and Lexa moaned.

 

Clarke smirked down at her before settling between her legs.

 

“Are you ready?”

 

“No.” Lexa whined and shook her head. She felt so pathetic.

 

Clarke just laughed into her skin and started the timer before Lexa could back out again.

 

Lexa had received blow–jobs in the past. Some of them decent, others not so decent. None of them were really above–average (until now). Lexa got much pleasure out of it though. There was something about a hot mouth engulfing her dick repeatedly that aroused her.

 

But no blow–job, not–a–one compared to the one she was getting right now. She felt bad for even comparing the girls who had given her a blow–job to Clarke right now, but if she had to make a list, Clarke’s name would be the only one on it and she was only getting started.

 

Clarke wrapped her lips tightly around Lexa’s dick and sucked. Lexa gripped the bed sheets tightly and tried not to cum right then and there. Clarke looked back at Lexa who groaned in response.

 

Clarke held eye–contact with her the entire way down her dick. Lexa didn’t realize that Clarke had taken her whole member until she felt Clarke’s lips on her hips. Lexa couldn’t hold her moan in. She was sure everyone on campus heard it, but Lexa didn’t care.

 

Clarke didn’t move and Lexa realized that she was waiting for permission. Lexa didn’t think she needed it, her entire dick was already in her mouth, but Lexa still nodded.

 

And that was when Lexa was _really_ fucked.

 

Because Clarke didn’t even give her time before she start bobbing her head up and down making Lexa’s eyes widen. She thought they were going to pop out of their sockets with how well Clarke was sucking her dick.

 

The fact that Clarke was letting out small moans of pleasure while she was doing it, wasn’t helping. Clarke looked so hot as she placed one hand on her balls and engulfed her dick repeatedly. And that same feeling Lexa loved, but hated simultaneously came washing over her.

 

Clarke clearly picked up on the way Lexa’s breathing changed and quickly pulled away from her. She let her dick go with a loud ‘pop’ and Lexa groaned. She jerked her hips up, trying to find Clarke’s mouth but Clarke was looking at her phone. Lexa whined at the lost contact.

 

“You’re at a minute and nine seconds,” Clarke explained, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “Try to get to two minutes.”

 

Lexa was already shaking her head. This was probably the best blow–job she’d ever gotten and Clarke expected her to make it to two minutes? There was no way.

 

“I can’t,” Lexa said helplessly. “I can already feel it.”

 

“Picture me with mud on my face.” Clarke said hoarsely. “All in my hair and all over my body.”

 

Lexa was confused as to what Clarke was trying to do and quite frankly, _annoyed_ that Clarke’s mouth wasn’t on her dick.

 

Lexa reached down, wrapping her fingers around blonde hair and tried to guide Clarke’s mouth back to her dick, but the blonde just shook her head.

 

“I’m not going to suck your dick if you’re going to cum in the next ten seconds.”

 

“Clarke!” Lexa hissed in annoyance. Her orgasm was approaching and Lexa wanted Clarke’s mouth back on her.

 

“Try to hold off your orgasm, babe.” Clarke husked, running a smooth hand up and down Lexa's thigh. “And I’ll let you cum in my mouth.”

 

“Clarke, that’s not fair.” Lexa had her eyes closed tightly. Clarke still had one hand on her balls and squeezed them in protest.

 

“Think of anything that will hold off your orgasm. Hence, me covered in mud.”

 

“I wasn’t going to say anything before,” Lexa spoke into the air, hands covering her eyes in embarrassment. “But that’s kinda hot. Mud reminds me of chocolate and chocolate would make me want to lick–“

 

“This isn’t going to work.” Clarke huffed against her.

 

“I told you, but you’re the one that wanted to try it. It feels so good, Clarke. Please, suck my dick.” Lexa was beyond caring that she was begging. Clarke’s hands were magically and her mouth was an angelic.

 

Clarke couldn’t deny it either. She knew nothing she said or tried would stop Lexa from her orgasm. So, the blonde played the timer again and wrapped her mouth back around Lexa.

 

The brunette moaned loudly as Clarke started bobbing her head again, surrounding Lexa’s dick in warm wetness. It felt so amazing that Lexa’s orgasm was inevitable.

 

She felt it the second Clarke moaned against her. Clarke was fumbling with her balls, moving her mouth up and down her dick.

 

Once Clarke came up and sucked the tip of her head in her mouth, running her tongue through the slit, Clarke moaned when Lexa erupted in her mouth.

 

Lexa threw her head back and whimpered as her cum shot into the back of Clarke’s mouth. Lexa was expecting her to pull away, but groaned when Clarke swallowed her load. Clarke really was going to be the death of her.

 

When Lexa was done and her body was calm, Clarke let go of her dick, it falling against her thigh.

 

“A minute and forty seconds. I’m going to get you to two minutes eventually.” Clarke said as she crawled up Lexa’s body. Lexa couldn't stop the look of awe on her face. She couldn’t believe she had just received a blow–job from the blonde. (An above average,  A+, deserves to be broadcasted to the whole world blow–job).

 

“Where have you been all my life?” Lexa whispered out and Clarke just laughed.

 

“That good, huh?”

 

Lexa sat up, more serious this time as she guided Clarke’s lips to hers.

 

“Above average. Like up here.” Lexa held her hand up way above her head and Clarke laughed again.

 

“Stop sucking up to me.”

 

“If my memory serves me correctly,” Lexa smirked dangerously. “That was you.”

 

Clarke lunged for her.

 

She landed in her lap, tickling her sides before placing a solid kiss on her lips.

 

“I could… do you now?” Lexa asked hopefully and Clarke smiled softly before nodding.

 

The blonde was quick to get rid of her clothes as the roles were reversed this time, with Clarke on her back, begging for Lexa, and Lexa deciding to have a little fun with it.

 

She fondled Clarke’s breasts for way longer than she needed to, but Clarke wasn’t complaining. The blonde looked like she was on cloud nine and Lexa wanted to make her feel good.

 

With that thought in her mind, Lexa run her hands down Clarke’s thighs before running them up and cupping her center. Clarke gasped and pulled her bottom lip in her mouth.

 

Her eyes were begging for Lexa to touch her and Lexa couldn’t deny her anymore.

 

She ran her fingers through Clarke, amazed at how wet Clarke could get. Her fingers slipped through her folds before circling her clit.

 

She pushed a finger inside of Clarke before the blonde could say anything and started pumping into her.

 

“ _Mmm_.” Clarke moaned out, rolling her hips against Lexa’s fingers. Lexa tried to picture Clarke covered in mud, but it wasn’t working. Clarke could be covered in anything and it would still be hot, hence the boner in between her legs. But right now wasn’t about her, it was about the insanely gorgeous blonde beneath her.

 

It wasn’t long before Lexa added another finger, pumping through Clarke with ease before the blonde spoke.

 

“Could you use your tongue?” Clarke asked through moans. Lexa’s body went stiff at the realization of what Clarke wanted.

 

“You want me to eat you out?” Lexa asked bluntly, her mouth already watering at the idea.

 

“Yes.” Clarke whimpered with want, uncaringly. She tried pushing Lexa’s head down, but Lexa was still looking down at Clarke.

 

Clarke wanted her to put her mouth on her vagina and while it wouldn’t be the first time she’d done this, the thought of doing it to Clarke made her heart speed up. She wanted Clarke to experience all the pleasure in the world and wanted this more than anything.

 

Her dick was painfully hard as she laid on her stomach, but she tried to ignore it. She wanted to do this for Clarke. She wanted to do this _to_ Clarke.

 

The first lick was enough for Lexa’s taste buds to decide that this was a taste it wanted constantly. Lexa moaned against Clarke’s center, sending a thrill through the blonde. Lexa’s eyes closed at how good Clarke tasted and couldn’t believe her tongue was on her.

 

Lexa tried to soak up as much of Clarke’s juices as she could, sucking them eagerly into her mouth, but Clarke was dripping wet. The blonde had one hand wrapped tightly around Lexa’s hair, as if she were a lifeline and Lexa loved it.

 

Lexa greedily ate Clarke out. There was no stopping her. The taste of Clarke literally had Lexa at a loss for words. She licked through her center softly, before sucking Clarke’s clit in her mouth.

 

 _“Oh, god!”_ Clarke sobbed out, tightening her hold against Lexa.

 

Clarke was lightly thrusting into her as Lexa was thrusting her hips down into Clarke’s bed, her dick trying to find some friction. Lexa let out a soft huff into Clarke’s skin, before the blonde lightly tapped her.

 

“Lay down on your back.” Clarke instructed, using all her will–power to move away from Lexa. Lexa did as she was told before Clarke turned around and got on top of her.

 

Lexa’s eyes widen for a third time as Clarke’s butt came flying towards her, but Lexa didn’t have any time to process it (she never did when it came to Clarke. The blonde was full of dirty surprises). Lexa caught on to what Clarke wanted and the blonde grabbed a hold of Lexa’s dick, licking the side of it as Lexa licked through Clarke again.

 

The position gave Lexa full access to Clarke’s ass. Lexa was squeezing and groping it as she licked through Clarke. Lexa scrunched her face up in delight when some of Clarke’s juices came flooding out of her, dripping down her chin and adding to the wetness echoing around the room.

 

Clarke was bobbing her head with no mercy. She had one goal and that was to get Lexa off. She didn’t care how fast it happened or if she was going to outlast Lexa. She just wanted it to happen. She wanted Lexa’s delicious, thick cum in her mouth.

 

This time when Lexa squeezed Clarke’s butt, it wasn’t because she could. It was because Clarke was doing amazing things with her mouth and she was on the verge of her second orgasm. Lexa realized Clarke hadn’t cum yet, and tried to focus on her. But when Clarke’s mouth came down and wrapped around her balls as her hand pumped Lexa quickly, Lexa couldn’t.

 

Lexa couldn’t even scold herself for how fast she came the second time as Clarke was greedily swallowing each rope of cum flying out of her.

 

Lexa softly bite down on Clarke’s clit, sliding a finger back inside of her and curling it. The blonde let go of her dick and gasped above her. Lexa sloppily sucked against Clarke as her finger plowed through her.

 

Clarke was a gasping mess above her and Lexa knew she was close.

 

When Lexa firmly wrapped her lips around her clit, massaging her tongue around the bundle of nerves, Clarke arched her back before shouting out her name.

 

 _“Lexa!”_ Clarke cried out, her head thrown back. Her body rolled against Lexa’s mouth as Clarke’s walls held Lexa’s fingers prisoner. Lexa was completely and utterly surrounded by Clarke and was loving every second of it.

 

Lexa happily cleaned Clarke up as her orgasm subsided.

 

With lazy, achy bones, Clarke climbed off of Lexa and reached for her phone.

 

“Second time around: you lasted a minute and thirty seconds.”

 

“You timed me?” Lexa was so caught up in what they were doing, she had forgotten the real reason why they were doing this.

 

“Yeah, silly,” Clarke giggled as she went to put her clothes on. “That’s the whole point right?”

 

Suddenly, Lexa hated this arrangement.

 

“Yeah, it is.” Lexa nodded slowly before tucking her dick away in her underwear and pulling her jeans back on. “I have homework, so I should go.”

 

“Okay, Raven’s going to be home soon anyways.” Clarke reasoned, suddenly looking shy. “I really enjoyed what we did, babe.”

 

That was the second time Clarke had called her babe (not that Lexa was counting).

 

“Me too.” Lexa couldn’t deny the smile, it always happened in Clarke’s presence. She smiled more times around the blonde than she had in her last twenty–one years of living.

 

“I should get going.”

 

“Call me later.” Clarke instructed.

 

There was no question about it.

 

“Will do.”

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa was back in her dorms a couple days later. She was relaxing and the buzz of spring break being just around the corner spread across campus. The stress that Lexa was feeling upon having exams next week, was seeping through her. She was trying to calm herself down. She’d probably ace every exam, but the idea of taking them was starting to get to her.

 

There was a ringing coming from her laptop and Lexa thanked God for being pulled out of her spiraling thoughts.

 

It was Anya.

 

Her best friend was patiently awaiting her call as she did most nights. Lexa answered it with a smile as Anya popped up on her screen.

 

“Kill me.” Anya greeted her. She had a tub of ice–cream in one hand and a textbook in the other. “I have exams all next week.”

 

“Same, sis.” Lexa groaned as she looked at her best friend.

 

“Please stop trying to be cool. ‘Sis’ should never come out of your mouth like that.” Anya laughed at her and Lexa just pouted at her.

 

“Anyways, how was your day?” Anya asked genuinely, taking a huge bite of her ice–cream and waiting for Lexa to answer.

 

“It’s been going okay. I’m just settling in for the night. I might go back out and get some dinner.” Lexa answered. It was only seven o’clock and she had enough time to go to the dining hall or could just grab something off campus, but for right now, she just wanted to talk to Anya.

 

“Aren’t you going to ask me about my day?” Anya asked in a teasing tone. Lexa huffed dramatically.

 

“How was your day, Anya?” Lexa moved closer to the screen and that was when Anya froze for a second. Lexa thought it was the bad connection, but she could see Anya’s eyes scanning her over.

 

“What the hell is that on your neck?” Anya finally moved and squinted her eyes at Lexa. Lexa looked down in confusion, before looking up in horror.

 

She knew exactly what Anya was talking about. She had done an exceptional job hiding them over the past few days. Wearing over-sized hoodies and turtlenecks, but in the comfort of her room, Lexa didn’t want to hide. She was wearing basketball shorts and a tight shirt, her hickeys on full display.

 

“I was curling my hair and I accidentally burned myself. You know I don’t know what I’m doing.” Lexa tried to lie. She had thought she sold it because Anya was quiet for a moment.

 

But then Anya moved closer to the screen, demanding Lexa to lift her head and Anya squinted her eyes again.

 

“So, those aren’t hickeys on your neck?” Anya grilled her. Lexa tried to put her hand over it, knowing she’d been caught. “I know the quality is bad sometimes–“

 

“They are hickeys,” Lexa revealed, moving her hand way, knowing it was no use in trying to hide them. “But it’s not what it looks like.”

 

“Oh, so you’re not getting laid?” Anya teased through the webcam.  “You’re practically glowing right now.”

 

“It’s more than just me getting laid.” Lexa said and then paused, wondering if she should give herself away.

 

“Well, do I need to come all the way down there for you to tell me?” Anya exclaimed. “May I remind you, that I used to change your diapers…. and pull ups.”

 

“That only happened a couple times!” Lexa grumbled in protest. “My mom wasn’t the greatest.”

 

“So, who is she?”

 

“Clarke. Remember that–“

 

“How could I forget,” Anya teased, before Lexa could start talking about the blonde her best friend clearly had a crush on. “You used to talk about her a lot. It’s calmed down a bit, but you mention her a lot. So, are you two together?”

 

“Anya!” Lexa’s cheeks were heating up and Anya was enjoying interrogating her friend. “It’s not what it looks like.”

 

“Lexa, you can tell me anything. It’ll be easier since I’m not actually there with you, so lay it on me.”

 

“I’ve been noticing…” Lexa stopped, completely terrified to let her friend in on such a huge secret. “I haven’t really been lasting long in bed.”

 

Lexa thought Anya was going to judge her or tease her like she’d been doing this whole time, but Anya just sat there, with her tub of ice–cream, listening closely.

 

“I was hooking up with this girl and when I was… inside… I basically just… _you know_.”

 

“Wow.” That was all Anya commented before gesturing for Lexa to finish her story.

 

“That happened quite some time ago and I told Clarke that I’ve been having a hard time lasting long with girls and she’s been helping me… improve my stamina.”

 

“Are you serious?” Anya asked for clarification and Lexa just nodded.

 

Anya didn’t say much. Lexa knew there wasn’t much _to_ say. She felt extremely vulnerable right now.

 

“Well, I’m glad she’s helping you and not me.” Anya tried to joke and Lexa laughed awkwardly.

 

“I think that’s best for everyone.”

 

“Why her?” Anya asked suddenly and Lexa frowned. “Why not the girl you couldn’t last with?”

 

“Clarke’s… she’s like… really good, Anya. Better than the girl I was with and I’ve been doing a terrible job keeping up with her. She’s amazing.”

 

“So, you guys are having sex or…”

 

“We haven’t fully... I mean, my dick hasn't... We haven't- not yet–“

 

“Yet?”

 

“Just... you know the H’s and the B’s.”

 

“The what and what?” Anya had a smirk on her face, knowing exactly what her friend was referring to. “I’m going to need you to elaborate.”

 

Lexa wished Anya was here so she could throw a pillow at her.

 

“I think that’s a smart idea, if you really aren't lasting long. Just don’t get too caught up in what you’re doing.” Anya concluded earnestly after her teasing.

 

“She’s been helping, but not much.”

 

“How long are we talking?”

 

“Anya…”

 

“I’m very curious.”

 

“Less than two minutes.” Lexa said shyly and Anya whistled lowly.

 

“Yeah, this is a good idea.”

 

Lexa didn’t know she needed Anya’s approval until now. Something about Anya approving it made Lexa think she wasn’t all that crazy for doing this. It’ll help her out in the long run.

 

“So, am I still going down there to get you?” Anya changed the subject easily and Lexa loved her best friend.

 

“Yeah, we could stay down here or go up there. Or the mountains.”

 

“We can do whatever as long as we are together.” Anya said seriously and Lexa nodded eagerly. She needed to see her best friend. It had been a while.

 

“I miss you.” Lexa said honestly, a small pout on her face.

 

“I miss you too.”

 

“I hate to end the call so soon, but I want to go grab some dinner.” Lexa said after a few minutes. Sometimes when they Skyped they didn’t need to talk to each other. Lexa liked having Anya on the screen when she was studying or if she was watching a new movie, she would call Anya and they’d watch it together.

 

Lexa loved her college, but leaving Anya was one of the hardest things she’d ever done. She was glad that they talked everyday and that the distance didn’t drift them apart, and when they met up throughout their semesters, it was like nothing had changed between them. Anya truly was her best friend.

 

“Go on, nerd.” Anya said. “Call me when you get back.”

 

“I will.”

 

Lexa quickly ended the call and threw some sweats on. She honestly didn’t care what she looked like. She was hungry and had so much studying to do.

 

As Lexa was walking out of her dorm, avoiding the other students in the hall, her pocket vibrated. She thought it was Anya texting her, but her heart raced when she saw Clarke’s name on her phone.

 

 **Clarke** ( _7:30 PM) Have you eaten yet?_

 

Lexa smiled as she typed away on her phone.

 

 **Lexa** ( _7:31 PM_ ) _I was just about to head to the dining hall_

 

Clarke’s reply was quick.

 

 **Clarke** ( _7:32 PM_ ) _Don’t bother. You should come over. I have a couple things you could eat_

 

Lexa looked around suddenly paranoid that people could see her phone. She was never really a sexter.

 

 **Lexa** ( _7:33 PM_ ) _Do you mean…?_

 

 **Clarke** ( _7:34 PM_ ) _No you perv. Raven ordered Chinese food and she just left so you should come over_

 

Lexa had already walked outside and turned right instead of left to get to Clarke’s dorm.

 

Lexa didn’t need to respond. She had a feeling Clarke already knew she was heading over, but her phone vibrated a few minutes later.

 

 **Clarke** ( _7:38 PM)_ _Okay I wasn’t just talking about the food. Yes, you can eat, but when you’re done… I want you to eat me out_

 

The message made Lexa’s stomach swirl and her steps had quickened across campus. She was practically running toward Clarke, but couldn’t care less. Lexa had a few things she was supposed to take care of in preparation of exams next week, but that could wait.

 

All she could think about was getting to Clarke.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the confusion. I did upload this chapter a few days ago, but my account was being weird and I took the chapter down. So, here it is again and I hope you guys are getting notified when I post. If not, I'm truly sorry about that. 
> 
> Enjoy!

 

* * *

 

 

 

Lexa was on her third brownie. She had an obsession. She didn’t know what Clarke put in her brownies, but Lexa was addicted. She was just about to reach for a fourth brownie, when Clarke turned to her and asked her a question.

 

“What are you doing for spring break?” Clarke’s hair was up in a bun, and although it was still cold outside, Clarke was only wearing shorts and a t–shirt.

 

Lexa wiped the crumbs she was sure she had on her face before answering her question.

 

It was Friday night. Spring break had technically already begun and Anya was going to be here tomorrow. There was no set plan on where they were going to go or what they were going to do, Lexa just wanted to be with her best friend that she hadn’t seen in a couple months.

 

Lexa also had no idea what Clarke was doing for spring break. They hadn’t discussed it, but with the way things were going between Clarke and her mom, Lexa was sure, Clarke wouldn’t be spending the break at home.

 

“You know my friend, Anya?”

 

“Yeah, she stayed back home right?”

 

“Yeah,” Lexa answered, picking up another brownie. “She’s coming tomorrow to pick me up.”

 

As Lexa chewed through the brownie, she watched the way Clarke’s shoulders tensed and dropped. She was wearing a frown, but before Lexa could say anything, Clarke smiled up at her.

 

“That sounds exciting.”

 

“What are you going to do?”

 

Lexa was very much looking forward to doing absolutely no schoolwork while she was on break. She also didn’t have to work the bar. So honestly, Lexa could go wherever she wanted for the next week. It was a rare occasion where she didn’t have any commitments.

 

Clarke didn’t answer. She picked up another brownie, chewing it slowly.

 

“My friends are going to the beach.” Clarke said it as if she wasn’t going with them. Lexa frowned, because Clarke was very attached to her friends. Not in a bad way, Clarke was independent, but she also was the party girl of the group and was down to do anything her friends did.

 

“Are you not going with them?”

 

“Oh my god, Lexa!” Clarke scolded. She finished off her brownie before standing up with her hands on her hips.

 

“You really are socially challenged!”

 

“Hey!” Lexa said, offended by the words.

 

“When I asked what you were doing,” Clarke held up one finger. “When I told you my friends were going to the beach, Lexa, I want you to come with me.”

 

Lexa looked up at Clarke sheepishly. She put the brownie she was eating down, her cheeks on fire.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

There was a pause. Outside, there was commotions of students trying to get far away from campus for the next seven days.

 

“I mean, Anya and I could come with you? What beach are you going to?”

 

“Polis beach. About an hour away. We booked a hotel and everything. Everyone pitched in on paying, but you don’t have to worry about anything. You’re staying with me.”

 

Lexa loved how possessive Clarke sounded and suddenly the idea of going to the beach, probably seeing Clarke in a variety of bikinis was very appealing to her.

 

“I’m in.” Lexa immediately said and Clarke chuckled.

 

“I thought so.”

 

Another pause, but this time it was basking in all the mischief they could get into while they were away. It excited Lexa to no end.

 

“Want to make out until Raven comes home?”

 

“Absolutely.”

 

Clarke walked over to the door and flicked the light off before crawling into Lexa’s lap. The outside world completely forgotten.

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa figured she’d wait until Anya got here to tell her the change of plans. She knew Anya wouldn’t be against going to the beach. They had gone in the past whenever they were on spring break.

 

But these past few years, they’ve been going to the mountains. Spending a whole week in comfortable silence and the cold.

 

Anya was always more adventurous than Lexa. Lexa wasn’t really one to stray too far from the rules. Whenever they got caught doing something devious as kids, the majority of the time it was Anya who orchestrated it.

 

Lexa thought Anya would be completely okay with going to the beach this time instead of their unspoken ritual of going to the mountains.

 

But Lexa was completely wrong.

 

“You want me to spend a whole week with Clarke and her friends?” Anya asked, narrowing her eyes.

 

It felt like no time had went by as Anya was laid up in Lexa’s bed, hand behind her head, staring her down.

 

“She wants me to come with her, so–“

 

“I’ll be completely alone while you and Clarke go off and fuck each other?”

 

“No!” Lexa protested loudly. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, but you love the beach!”

 

“When I’m around my family and you.” Anya added and Lexa frowned. She didn’t understand why Anya was being so difficult.

 

“Some of her friends are pretty cool. Like Harper and Lincoln. I’d think you will like them.”

 

“I don’t know, Lexa.”

 

“Come on, you would totally be helping my sex life and you won’t even have to hear it because we’ll be in different rooms.”

 

“I didn’t really come down here for them.” Anya answered seriously and Lexa sighed. She knew her best friend was looking forward to spending some alone time with her and felt a bit guilty.

 

“I’ll hang out with you everyday. I really will. It’s not like we won’t see each other. We all will. It’ll be fun and it’ll help me score some points with Clarke and I seriously need that.”

 

The way Anya knowingly sighed as she sat up, made Lexa grin.

 

“Fine. Only because you need it!” Anya grumbled, but there was a wide smile on her face. Lexa knew Anya would never say no to the beach.

 

As they gathered their stuff to take to Anya’s truck, Lexa added over her shoulder:

 

“Oh! One more thing, you’ll be rooming with Raven and Octavia since we both decided to come last minute!”

 

“Lexa!” Anya groaned, fully intending on having a room to herself.

 

Lexa just smiled because the next week was about to be amazing.

 

* * *

 

 

“Kyle’s been texting me, trying to hang out but I’m like, dude, I literally caught you having sex with another girl. It’s clear where we stand.” Raven was leaning against Octavia’s car, staring down at her phone.

 

Clarke could tell by the longing look, that her friend was upset with what happened. She was trying to act tough about it, by trying to push it off, but she wasn’t fooling anyone.

 

Especially not her.

 

“Good, he’s not good enough for you.” Octavia said seriously.

 

Lincoln, Jasper, Monty and Finn were loading up the three cars they were taking between them and the girls were just waiting around patiently.

 

“Octavia!” Clarke chastised as she laughed, but Octavia just shrugged.

 

“It’s true.”

 

“I take no offense to it. He acts like a victim in like half of our arguments and I’m just like–“ Clarke turned around when her friend stopped talking, a smile erupting on her face.

 

“Lexa!” Clarke called happily. She didn’t care that her friends were looking skeptical upon the two new faces that just joined them. Lincoln looked at least happy about it.

 

“Hey, Lexa!” Lincoln greeted as he shoved another suitcase into the trunk of Monty’s car.

 

“Hey, Lincoln. Hey, Clarke.” Lexa greeted as she walked up to them. They didn’t have any luggage because it was already stored away in Anya’s truck.

 

Lexa walked straight up to Clarke and her two friends, with Anya trailing behind slowly.

 

Clarke pulled Lexa in for a hug before pulling away and everyone was looking at each other awkwardly.

 

It wasn’t until Raven cleared her throat rather loudly, that Lexa got the hint.

 

“Oh, right!” Lexa paused, as if she was remembering a script. “Anya, this is Clarke, Raven and Octavia.”

 

That was all Lexa had said, thinking that it was enough to break the awkward silence between them.

 

It wasn’t until Clarke and Anya made eye–contact, that Clarke spoke up.

 

“Lexa, we talked about your awkwardness.” Clarke grimaced and Lexa grumbled softly.

 

“That was not awkward!”

 

“It’s okay, ladies. Lexa, here, has never been great with social cues.”

 

“I know right!” Clarke agreed easily, a teasing smile on her face. “It’s like pulling teeth getting her to talk to new people.”

 

“She’s always been a hermit crab.” Anya remarked, smiling down at Clarke.

 

“You two aren’t allowed to hang out together!” Lexa protested and they all laughed.

 

“It’s nice to meet you, Anya.” Octavia said politely. “It will mostly be just you and Raven because I’ll be with Lincoln most of the time.”

 

“That’s no problem.” Anya commented and looked over to the woman in question.

 

“Raven, is it?” Anya asked with a smirk and Raven’s eyes widened.

 

“The one and only.” She let out an awkward chuckle.

 

“Girls are so weird.” Jasper whispered over to Monty, but all the girls heard him. They all turned their heads to the guy in question. “He said it!”

 

“No, I didn’t!” Monty said with wide eyes. “We need to get on the road if we want to avoid some of this traffic.”

 

“Thanks, dad.” Raven snorted as she walked around Octavia’s car.

 

“Follow us, okay?” Clarke said gently as she looked over to Lexa and waited until she nodded.  

 

“See you when we get there.”

 

“Bye.”

 

“Bye.”

 

“Come on, love birds!” Anya took it upon herself to drag Lexa way from Clarke. A second longer with the pair, Anya would’ve vomited from how couple–like Lexa swore they weren't acting.

 

* * *

 

 

When they got to the hotel it was late. They ordered room service before everyone went to their respected rooms. Everyone was rooming together, but Jasper was rooming with Monty and Finn so Octavia and Lincoln could have a room together.

 

“This is nice. Affordable.” Lexa commented as she looked around the room.

 

It was a nice enough hotel on the budget of college students with little money.

 

There was two beds, a couch to the side by the air conditioning and a dresser with a TV on it in the corner.

 

“Yeah, it’s not bad.” Clarke yawned. “I’m going to go shower.”

 

“Yeah, I’ll just–“

 

“Join me?” Clarke asked with a lazy smile. “No funny business, I promise. I’m too tired, but tomorrow, you’re all mine.”

 

Lexa quickly agreed, her bones tired from the drive over her. She undressed and followed Clarke to the bathroom.

 

The blonde was completely naked, but Lexa kept her hands to herself.

 

It was hard because Clarke kept bending over to wash her body and Lexa just stood there awkwardly and did her best not to look.

 

“Well, don’t just stand there.” Clarke said over her shoulder, passing Lexa a fresh bar of soap. “Wash.”

 

Lexa did as she was told. She was enjoying the steamy water on her achy bones and the company certainly wasn’t bad.

 

Clarke’s hair was completely soaked and her arms were raised above her head, massaging her scalp with shampoo.

 

Lexa was watching the way the shampoo was sliding down her body. Down her neck, through the valley of her breast and to–

 

“Eyes up, babe.” Clarke husked and Lexa scolded herself for not behaving.

 

Clarke had a goofy smile on her face, her tongue poking out between her teeth. There was no doubt that Clarke was teasing her.

 

_Two can play this wicked game_

 

Lexa grabbed the soap more boldly and ran it over her torso, taking her time lathering soap across her abs. Lexa knew she had Clarke’s attention with the way her breath hitched.

 

Lexa continued her journey down south and ran the soap across the length of her dick. It jumped in response as she went underneath and cleaned her balls.

 

Lexa peaked up and almost paled at the way Clarke was watching her every move. Her arms were still above her head, but she wasn’t moving. Their was shampoo all over her face and Lexa was amazed that none had gotten into her eyes yet.

 

Lexa let out a small sigh. She had never been this sexual when she was washing her body, but Clarke brought it upon herself and when they finally looked up at each other, a mush of dark, calculated eyes, Clarke smirked.

 

“This really wasn’t a good idea.”

 

“We need to hurry up and get out.” Lexa said just a second later. The water was getting cold and Lexa hadn’t finished her normal shower routine.

 

There was no more teasing as they tried to wash themselves as quickly as the hot water was fading fast.

 

* * *

 

 

They decided to go to a dinner the next night to celebrate their first official night there. Everyone was gathered around a table in a restaurant a couple blocks away from the hotel and Lexa was enjoying herself.

 

The food was surprisingly good and after a whole day of swimming around in a pool, Lexa was hungry.

 

Clarke was sitting next to her with Anya on the other side of the table. Dinner was mostly a quiet affair, a small remark about the food ventured off to a few separate conversations occasionally.

 

Lexa was glad that everyone was so invested in their food because _someone_ couldn’t keep their hands to themselves.

 

Lexa would never complain. That fact that Clarke kept touching her every couple minutes or so made Lexa’s stomach drop. Feeling those nimble fingers running up her thigh or squeezing her hand whenever Lexa dropped her hand to her lap, Lexa loved that Clarke couldn’t keep her hands to herself.

 

Lexa was listening to an intense conversation Anya and Raven were having about different models of trucks and which ones were the best, when a hand tightly gripped her thigh.

 

Lexa tightened her hold she had around her fork, because Clarke’s hand clearly had a destination it was trying to reach and Lexa would be a fool to stop her.

 

Clarke’s hand didn’t move for a long while. She squeezed Lexa’s thigh occasionally and Lexa had to try and remain calm. She picked up her glass of iced tea with shaky hands and gulped some of it.

 

Raven and Anya were going back and forth and Lexa concluded that it was only a matter of time the two of them slept together. Lexa figured this was Anya’s way of making a move and shrugged because it seemed to be working. Raven was as stubborn as Clarke was and there was no way of changing her mind when she thought she was right.

 

Anya was challenging everything in her right now and it was intriguing.

 

Lexa had just put her glass back down when Clarke moved her hand high on her thigh.

 

Lexa looked passed Anya to the fish tank that took up an entire wall toward the back of the restaurant and tried not to focus on the burning hand on hers. It was taking everything in Lexa to not shift her hips and then Clarke’s hand would be where she really wanted it.

 

As if Clarke could read her thoughts, there was a slow–forming smirk on Clarke’s face, but the blonde refused to meet her eyes.

 

Clarke was engaging in a conversation with Jasper and Lexa was wondering how she was piecing together sentences. Lexa wasn’t talking to anyone and was already hyperventilating beside her.

 

“Are you okay?” Monty had asked from the end of the table. The question was directed toward her and it took Lexa a while to answer.

 

She wanted to say no. She wasn’t okay because there was a hand that belonged to such a beautiful woman sliding higher and higher up her thigh and Lexa felt like she could pass out at any moment. Honestly, she was _so_ gay.

 

Anya had caught on to her silence and stopped bickering with Raven to turn her attention to her.

 

“I’m fine!” Lexa squeaked out and it was enough for Monty to shrug it off. Anya held her gaze for a second and Lexa really wished she didn’t because Clarke’s hand was firmly over her bulge now.

 

It wasn’t until Raven said: “I think we should test this theory” that Anya’s attention was back on the shorter brunette.

 

Lexa looked over to Clarke and to her surprise, the blonde caught her eye. The corner of her lips were turned up and Lexa wanted to scream in frustration.

 

It was going to be a long night.

 

There was a bar on the other side of the restaurant that drew the attention of their friends for the rest of the night. There weren’t any eyes on them and Clarke used this to her advantage.

 

They both had a drink in their hands and Clarke grabbed the vodka soda Lexa was drinking.

 

“You should come with me to the bathroom.” Clarke suggested lowly. She wasn’t drunk. This was their first drink that night and they were only a couple sips in.

 

“And what would we possible do in a bathroom, Clarke?” Lexa kept her distance, not wanting to draw the eyes of Clarke’s friends. “Your friends are right there.”

 

“I was thinking we play pat–a–cake,” Clarke smirked, stepping a bit closer to Lexa. “But with our bodies.”

 

_“Clarke.”_

 

“You joining me or what?” Clarke asked as she started walking off in the directions of the bathrooms. “Come on, it won’t take long.”

 

“Hey!” Lexa protested before stalking after Clarke.

 

They both had managed to disappear away from everyone else.

 

Lexa was glad that the bathroom was only one person at a time. Clarke locked the door before turning around and facing her.

 

Lexa stared longingly at Clarke. She was in ripped denim shorts and a white V–neck shirt that clung to her figure. The idea of possibly hooking up with Clarke the bathroom, burned a fire through Lexa.

 

“Come here.” Lexa surprised herself by saying and Clarke quickly walked over to her.

 

As soon as Clarke was in her reach, she grabbed a hold of her hips and placed a kiss to Clarke’s neck, sucking into her sweet skin before tracing her lips over her jaw.

 

“You don’t know how hard you make me.” Lexa whispered into her skin. She was never really a dirty–talker whenever she hooked up with someone, but Clarke brought out her adventurous side.

 

“Can I feel?” Clarke asked cheekily and Lexa moaned.

 

She connected their lips in a fierce kiss before fumbling to unbutton her pants.

 

“You have your phone right?” Lexa asked distractedly. Clarke was kissing her way down her body before dropping to her knees.

 

“Mhm.” Clarke answered quickly and pulled out the device, putting it on the slightly wet counter.

 

Lexa grabbed on to the counter as Clarke pulled down her underwear and her dick sprang out.

 

Clarke looked back up at Lexa, her eyes glossed over in what Lexa could only describe as lust before spreading Lexa’s legs apart.

 

“We can’t be too loud.” Clarke reminded her. She was so close, Lexa could feel every breath against her skin.

 

“Okay.” Lexa answered, knowing that there was no way she was going to silent through this.

 

Lexa breathed out harshly when Clarke took the tip of her dick into her mouth. Her mouth slowly but surely engulfed her entire dick and Lexa squeezed her eyes shut.

 

She was screwed.

 

Clarke placed her hands against Lexa’s hips, steadying her in place as she licked down the length of Lexa.

 

Lexa put one hand in Clarke’s hair, tangling her fingers in it. She couldn’t stop the way she rocked her hips slowly into Clarke as she took her length.

 

“God, you’re so dirty,” Lexa moaned out. “On your knees sucking my dick in the bathroom.”

 

Clarke moaned in response around her dick, the vibration sending a tingle down Lexa’s spine. (Seriously, how can someone be so beautiful and sexy at the same time?).

 

Clarke picked up the pace after a few seconds. Her mouth wrapping deliciously around Lexa, her head moving in quick movements to get Lexa off.

 

She lasted a minute so far and Lexa was slowly counting in her head. Slowly trying to hold off her orgasm as long as she could.

 

By the time two minutes rolled around, Lexa let out a loud grunt and pulled away from Clarke. She pumped her dick furiously for a few seconds before her load dumped straight into Clarke’s mouth.

 

Lexa let out a relieved breath as her head was tilted back. Her dick jerked a few times, milking her dry as she groaned quietly against Clarke.

 

 _“Fuck.”_   Lexa let out a strangled moan as more cum came dripping out of her.

 

Clarke looked up at her with shining eyes, before standing up. She wiped the back of her mouth, before pulling Lexa in for a kiss. Lexa moaned as she tasted her arousal on Clarke’s tongue and pulled her closer.

 

“Get up here.” Lexa instructed, helping Clarke up onto the counter. Clarke shifted a few times to get comfortable, before Lexa stepped between her thighs.

 

This was the first time Lexa’s dick came into direct contact with Clarke’s center and _damn_ , did it feel good. She didn’t know how she stopped herself from burying herself deep inside of her, but she kept her dick resting against her thigh.

 

Lexa ran her hands up and down Clarke’s thighs a few times. She worked against her to take her shirt and bra off, capturing a nipple in her mouth.

 

Clarke let out a loud moan, trapping Lexa’s head into place as Lexa reached up and grabbed a handful of her boob. Clarke rocked against her as Lexa tormented her breasts, her tongue licking rapidly over the nubs.

 

Lexa ran her hands up and fumbled with the buttons on Clarke’s shorts before dragging them down her legs. She swallowed roughly before running a finger through her folds. Clarke hissed loudly beneath her and Lexa smirked into her skin.

 

Clarke opened her legs wider so Lexa could have more access and with how wet Clarke was, it was so easy for Lexa to slip her finger knuckle deep.

 

Clarke let out a whine as Lexa slowly pumped her finger inside of her. Lexa was moving her hips in time with her fingers before Clarke put one hand on her chest to stop her.

 

“Rub it here.” Clarke grabbed a hold of her dick and gestured between her legs. Lexa quickly got the hint before pumping herself a few times and lining her dick up with Clarke’s clit.

 

She knew it didn’t compare to actually being inside of Clarke, but her dick was still sliding through her folds rapidly and right now, it was enough for Lexa. Her head was spinning with how hot this whole hook up had been. Lexa saw the numbers on Clarke’s timer rapidly change as she rubbed against her.

 

Clarke was biting down on her lip, trying to silence the moans threatening to leave her mouth right now. Lexa grabbed a hold of Clarke’s ankle and thrusted her hips through her folds repeatedly, groaning in the process.

 

There was a time or two when her dick slipped against Clarke, landing against her thigh. Clarke would reach down and quickly line it back up with her center and Lexa would start thrusting again.

 

They both knew how intimate this was. How hot and risky this was with their friends just outside the door. But that wasn’t stopping Lexa from doing it. She had never felt pleasure like this and it was no surprise when her dick started twitching against Clarke’s center. Lexa was sure Clarke hadn’t orgasm yet and tried to hold it off.

 

“I’m almost there, babe.” Clarke muttered under her breath. Lexa was amazed how quiet she was being because she was having a hard time silencing her moans herself.

 

“If it could be in the next few seconds, that’ll be great.” Lexa said through a strangled moan.

 

“Pick up the pace and it will.” Clarke said through harsh breaths and Lexa nodded.

 

She pushed against Clarke’s hips, forcing her to lay more flat and Lexa got even closer. She put one hand against her thigh, making more room as Lexa slid her dick through Clarke’s folds. Her thrusts were fast and quick and Clarke finally let a loud moan release.

 

Lexa leaned forward to kiss her, trying to keep her quiet. She should’ve known it was a lost cause whenever Clarke was nearing an orgasm.

 

 _“Fuck!”_   Clarke moaned as the tip of Lexa’s dick repeatedly hit Clarke’s clit. The blonde was trying to squeeze her thighs together and Lexa knew she was close.

 

 _“Clarke…”_ Lexa warned helplessly.

 

“Babe, I’m almost… _fuck_ … I’m almost… _shit_. Shit. _Shit!_ ” Clarke arched her back and let out a raspy moan as her orgasm finally hit her. Lexa didn’t waste any time moving her dick through Clarke once more before exploding all over her stomach.

 

Lexa rested against Clarke for a moment, catching her breath. It seemed as though Clarke was doing the same because for the next few minutes, the only thing they heard was the other’s breathing.

 

“You finally got to two minutes.” Clarke said between bated breath.

 

“I did.” Lexa panted back as she kissed Clarke sloppily and pulled her clothes back on.

 

Clarke did the same, looking around the room for the clothes Lexa threw off her.

 

“We should get back out there to our friends.” Clarke suggested, snapping her bra back into place.

 

“Wait, give me a kiss first.” Lexa didn’t know when she became so clingy, but knowing she’ll have to keep her hands to herself for the rest of the time they were with her friends, made her want Clarke even more.

 

Clarke smiled before pulling Lexa in for a soft kiss, slipping her tongue just slightly inside before pulling away.

 

“Clarke!” Lexa protested but Clarke just laughed.

 

“Come on,” Clarke motioned. “It definitely smells like sex and we’ve been away for too long.”

 

“Fine.” Lexa grumbled cutely that Clarke tilted her head back and kiss the underside of Lexa’s jaw before they finally presented themselves back to their friends.

 

* * *

 

 

The next day found them all waking up early and heading down to the beach and Lexa would personally like to thank whoever created the idea of bikinis. If she could go back in time and meet Louis Rèard and tell him what a genius he was for coming up with something so conventional.

 

Lexa was never really one to wear a bikini. She usually wore a swim top and trunks. She wished she could shake hands with Mr. Rèard and tell him that he completely changed her life because as she looked over to Clarke, head thrown back and laughing with her friends, she felt something move within her.

 

It was a funny little feeling she had in her stomach. From the moment Clarke presented the light blue bikini behind closed doors of their hotel room until now, where Clarke was flaunting her body so confidently.

 

The feeling didn’t stop the rest of the morning. They all decided to go to the beach in the morning while the sun was high. The water was freezing so Lexa stayed back on one of the lawn chairs.

 

Anya was talking with Octavia and Lincoln about who–knows–what, a couple feet away from them while the guys were splashing away in the waves.

 

Lexa enjoyed the peace that being at the beach presented her. There was something so calming about listening to the waves crashing into the shore. Lexa laid back in her lawn chair and closed her eyes.

 

It wasn’t until she felt something very cold splash across her stomach that she popped her eyes open.

 

“Anya!” Lexa scolded as she looked up at her smirking best friend, who was holding a bucket at her side.

 

“You really don’t socialize. I wonder how you’ve gotten so far in college without me.”

 

“I came here for my studies, not the people.”

 

“If I remember correctly, you’re the one that told me these people aren’t so bad and you were right. They’re pretty cool.”

 

“I see you have no problems fitting in.”

 

“Everyone is pretty chill besides Frank.”

 

“Finn.” Lexa corrected, knowing exactly what she was talking about. “Although, he might act like this because you’re my friend.”

 

“You two have beef?” Anya asked curiously as she crouched down next to Lexa. In her peripheral vision, she could see Raven’s eyes on them and frowned.

 

“I mean, he clearly doesn’t like me because Clarke chooses me over him.”

 

Anya listened to her friend talk and threw her head back in laughter.

 

“What are we? In middle school?”

 

“It’s true!” Lexa protested. “He hates me and I _hate_ him. It’ll never change.”

 

“What’s the deal with Raven?” The way Anya’s eyes drifted over to the girl, narrowing in curiosity made Lexa sit up.

 

“Oh, no!” Lexa said, jerking her head to look at Anya seriously. “She’s off limits and she’s straight.”

 

“I’ve been known to turn a couple straight girls.”

 

“Anya, stay away from her.” Lexa warned, but knew it was a lost cause because she could already see her friend’s eyes dancing with the possibility of being with the brunette. She was only fooling herself.

 

“I can’t. We’re rooming together.” With that statement, Anya got up and walked toward the girl they were just talking about.

 

Lexa was just getting ready to go after her when a cell phone ringing broke her attention.

 

Lexa watched as Raven’s eyes widened and immediately went to Clarke. The _Jaws_ theme song was playing and Lexa had a few guesses of who was calling Clarke right now.

 

“What, mom?” Clarke walked over to her phone that was by Lexa and hissed into the phone.

 

Confrontation was never Anya’s thing and when she sensed something was wrong, she immediately joined Jasper and Monty in the water.

 

Of course, Finn chose the perfect time to dry off as he picked up a towel close to Clarke.

 

Raven and Octavia were huddling around Clarke protectively and Lexa wondered just how bad Clarke’s mom could be.

 

Lexa watched in amazement how Clarke’s whole demeanor changed. She hated that Finn was right beside her but didn’t want to look like some overzealous jerk by getting up and walking over to Clarke.

 

“No, mom!” Clarke said seriously, aware that all eyes were on her.

 

Lexa listened and feared for the worse. By the look on everyone’s faces, Lexa knew this wasn’t going to end well.

 

“It’s my money. I can do whatever I want with it!” Clarke stomped her foot and turned her back to her friends.

 

Lexa felt like she was eavesdropping as she listened to the one sided argument Clarke was having. With every second that went by, Clarke was getting more heated.

 

“And what are you going to do about it?” Clarke snorted. “I’m having fun away from you so– _oh_ , don’t even go there!”

 

“What should we do?” Raven whispered to Octavia. Octavia just shook her head helplessly because she didn’t think Abby was going to reach out to Clarke. She never did during spring break.  

 

“I don’t think we can fix this.” Octavia said sadly and Raven just sighed. She had overheard way too many arguments between the Griffin women.

 

“Fine!” Clarke screamed into the phone, not caring who was listening at this point. “I’d be better off anyways!”

 

Clarke ended the call abruptly, and didn’t bother looking back at her friends before she stormed off.

 

The second Clarke marched away up to the boardwalk, Finn went after her. Anya looked at her questioningly, but Lexa knew that she probably wasn’t going to make the situation better. Her awkwardness would just make Clarke more frustrated.

 

She supposed she couldn’t be mad with the way Finn went after her. He knew about this situation. He probably would know what to do better than she did.

 

So, Lexa was completely confused when Finn came back seconds later, his face scrunched up as he approached her.

 

“She wants to talk to you.” Finn said to her. She honestly thought that was the most words he said to her out of the whole two years they’d co–existed together.

 

“To me?” Lexa pointed to herself, eyes wide. Raven and Octavia were looking at her in curiosity and Lexa swallowed hard. She wasn’t the best at confronting people.

 

“Yes, you.” Finn sneered before huffing and joining Monty back in the water.

 

Lexa put on the black shirt she brought down to the beach with her. She slipped her flip–flops on before going to search for Clarke.

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa found her at the bar across from the pool. There were a lot of people swarming by and Lexa dodged them to get to Clarke.

 

“Hey!” Lexa called out warily as she approached Clarke.

 

Clarke lit up at seeing Lexa, before her shoulders slumped. It was nearing noon and Clarke had ordered a margarita. She was sipping on it greedily.

 

“My mom wants me to come home.”

 

Talking about Clarke’s mom was literally like walking on eggshells. It was painful and scary and Lexa didn’t know what to do.

 

“What did you say?”

 

“No.”

 

“Clarke–“

 

“She also cursed me out for using my savings to pay for my half of the hotel for the week.”

 

Lexa rubbed her hand across her face, looking at Clarke with sympathy. Someone as beautiful as her didn’t deserve to be in so much pain at the hands of someone who was supposed to love her unconditionally.

 

“I can’t go back. I’m not ready. She doesn’t even want to see me. She just wants to control me for however long she can.”

 

Clarke took another sip of her margarita, savoring the flavor. Lexa wished she had one to handle this conversation. She didn’t know how she had so much pent–up aggression for a woman she barely even knew.

 

“Well, let’s just focus on the fact that we’re here and we were having fun. Well, before… you know.”

 

“She always has to call me when I’m happy or content and shit all over my life.” Clarke groaned.

 

This was the most Clarke had ever talked about her mother and Lexa certainly wasn’t going to stop her. She wanted to know the struggle that Clarke was going through when it came to her.

 

“She also keeps pressuring me to switch my major when I’m halfway through completely my degree.”

 

Clarke was currently majoring in Studio and Fine Art. From what Lexa knew, she loved it. She was an excellent artist and Clarke deserved to go to school for something she loved.

 

She couldn’t ever imagine her mother forcing her to change her degree. She wanted to be a physical therapist and her mother had at least supported her choice.

 

“She thinks I’m wasting my time. I’ll never get anywhere and I’ll be completely broke by twenty–five.”

 

With that, Clarke had finished her drink and Lexa frowned. She really wasn’t good at this.

 

“What are you going to do?”

 

“I’m not changing anything for her. Just like how she didn’t want to change when she was cheating on my dad.” Clarke said bitterly, before she burped and shook her head, “I don’t want to talk about her anymore. Can we just… go grab lunch or something?”

 

Lexa knew Clarke wasn’t okay. She was terrible at reading people, but she could tell because Clarke’s eyes weren’t the normal bright blue they usually were. There was a dimness in them.

 

A darkness that Lexa couldn’t figure out.

 

Lexa hated the fact that she couldn’t make Clarke feel better, but it wasn’t like she could just snap her fingers and Clarke would go back to normal.

 

There was years worth of pain and suffering but Clarke wasn’t really letting anyone in. She wasn’t sure how much Finn knew and now, she was determined to find out.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke had been okay for the next few days. They didn’t talk about the Abby–shaped elephant in the room. Lexa didn’t know much about it, so she never questioned it.

 

Clarke had been trying to enjoy herself as much as she could and that meant her party side shone through the roof.

 

Clarke was a wild drunk and Lexa was currently trying to get her in their hotel room without waking up the entire floor.

 

“We should go skinny–dipping!” Clarke suggested, her eyes glossed over in a way Lexa didn’t like.

 

“No.” Lexa said seriously as she dug through her pockets for the key.

 

“You’re no fun!” Clarke pouted. “I thought you’d say yes because you would see me naked.”

 

No one besides Anya really knew what they were doing and Lexa shushed Clarke for saying it so loud.

 

“Clarke, quiet!” Lexa hissed as she finally opened the door and pulled Clarke inside.

 

She got rid of Clarke’s clothes, trying to ignore the way Clarke’s drunk hands tried to roam her body, and rummaged through her clothing. She was scolding Clarke for packing so recklessly, she couldn’t find anything.

 

“What in the world?” Lexa mumbled to herself, digging to the bottom of the suitcase before finding an oversized shirt.

 

Lexa walked over to her and wordlessly pulled the shirt over her head.

 

“Drink this.” Lexa said as she handed the bottle of water to Clarke. Clarke just smacked it out of her hand.

 

“No.”

 

“Clarke–“

 

“I want to have sex.”

 

Lexa’s eyes widened and gulped loudly.

 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

 

They’d never fully had sex before and Lexa certainly didn’t want to while Clarke was intoxicated.

 

But there was a look of determination on Clarke’s face and Lexa knew she was screwed.

 

“Come on,” Clarke whispered. “You’re so hot Lexa and I want you to fuck me.”

 

Clarke tried pulling at Lexa’s belt loops to get her on top of her. Lexa panicked as Clarke placed sloppy kisses to the side of her face.

 

Just as Clarke was getting ready to dip her hands beneath her underwear, there was a knock at the door.

 

Lexa quickly rose to her feet and put some space between them. She didn’t like seeing Clarke like this and was relieved to find Octavia and Raven standing in the doorway. Lexa quickly let them in because she had no idea what she was doing.

 

“We figured you’d need some help in dealing with her when she’s drunk.” They were speaking from years of experience that Lexa knew she didn’t have.

 

She’d known Clarke for a long time, but she had never seen her this drunk before.

 

“Thank god!” Lexa sighed out. “She’s being really difficult.”

 

“O!” Clarke’s blurry vision focused a moment to see her two best friends. “Rae!”

 

“How you doing, Champ?” Raven asked with a smirk before picking up the water bottle Lexa tried giving to Clarke.

 

“She doesn’t want it.” Lexa said helplessly but Raven just gave her a look that said she knew what she was doing.

 

And Lexa supposed she did because Raven and Octavia joined Clarke on the bed seconds later and watched in completely amusement as they started singing.

 

“Alright, Clarkey. You’re going to drink some water now, but first,” Octavia paused dramatically and Lexa hung onto her words. “We will sing.”

 

“Yes!” Clarke fist pumped with a lazy smile on her face. She was so far gone.

 

Octavia put her hand behind Clarke’s back, rubbing it up and down as Raven swept Clarke’s hair into a ponytail.

 

_Mama take this badge from me_

_I can't use it anymore_

_It's getting dark too dark to see_

_I feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door_

 

_Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door_

_Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door, oh_

_Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door_

_Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door_

 

_Mama put my guns in the ground_

_I can't shoot them anymore_

_That cold black cloud is comin' around_

_And I feel I'm knockin' on heaven's door_

 

_Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door_

_Feels like I'm_

_Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door_

_Feels like I'm_

_Knock knock knockin' on heaven's door_

_Oh, knock knock knockin' on heaven's door_

 

Raven and Octavia finished their singing by opening the water bottle and giving it to Clarke. Clarke didn’t try knocking it out of their hands, she just took it and started drinking it.

 

Raven looked up and rose to her feet when she saw the questioning look on Lexa’s face.  

 

“How did you…?”

 

“It’s her dad’s favorite song.” Raven whispered quietly. She was looking at Lexa like she was trying to figure her out and Lexa gulped. “It calms her down and will get her to listen when she’s drunk.”

 

“What the hell happened to her?”

 

“Clarke is very complicated and hard to understand,” Raven hesitated for a moment before settling on: “Thank you for not giving up on her.”

 

“I’d never do that.” Lexa reassured her quickly. Raven paused again, staring intensely at Lexa. She opened her mouth, getting ready to say something, but Clarke caught her attention.

 

“Encore! Encore! Encore!” Clarke chanted with giggles. Lexa leaned against the dresser and watched as Raven and Octavia got ready for another round of the song, calming Clarke down in the process.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey girl!” Raven greeted into the phone. “Anya found a cool club downtown and most of us are going, you in?”

 

Clarke thought that sounded perfect right now, but then she heard the water running from the bathroom and sighed. She couldn’t keep drinking her life away.

 

“Hey, tonight’s not a very good night especially after what happened a few days ago. I know it’s our second to last day, but I’m just going to hang out with Lexa, if that’s okay.”

 

Raven paused over the line. This was a first to hear that her best friend didn’t want to go clubbing. She supposed she understood. Clarke had done enough partying for the week.

 

“Okay, I understand. Have fun, I guess.”

 

Things were weird between Clarke and Lexa. They didn’t talk about what happened a few days ago and Lexa didn’t quite catch her eyes whenever she spoke to her. Clarke felt like she had ruined the beautiful dynamic between them and knew she had to fix it before they left.

 

Lexa came out of the bathroom a few minutes later, towel wrapped tightly around her wet body. Clarke forced herself not to look, but there was so many things she needed to say.

 

Once Lexa dried off and got dressed, Clarke hesitated before speaking.

 

“I was thinking we order room service.” Clarke spoke softly. It was the first words she said to her all day. Lexa jumped slightly before looking at her with an unreadable expression.

 

“Okay.” That was all Lexa said as she disappeared back into the bathroom again.

 

Clarke sighed heavily and got up, already knowing what Lexa wanted and dialed room service.

 

As they waited for their food, Clarke figured it was now or never. She didn’t want to have this conversation and if she could avoid it for the rest of her life, she would, but she knew Lexa. She knew how detached she could get and didn’t want that to happen between them.

 

“I’m sorry about that night,“ Clarke quickly spoke before she lost her nerve. “I was drunk and I shouldn’t have… I would never… _force_ …”

 

“You didn’t force anything, Clarke.”

 

“I never meant to make you feel uncomfortable. That was never my intentions. If I have sex with you, I want to be completely sober and you have to know I’d do it for the right reasons, aside from helping you out.”

 

“Clarke, I know that.”

 

“Then why won’t you talk to me?”

 

Lexa paused then and Clarke chuckled helplessly. Clarke may not know how to express her emotions, but Lexa was just as bad, if not worse with how she was feeling.

 

“I’m worried about you, Clarke.” Lexa said seriously. Clarke scoffed and tried to deflect from the conversation.

 

“I am fine. My mom doesn’t control my life so I’m okay. I’m not over it though, Lexa. Grief doesn’t have a clock. I can’t just–“

 

“I never said you needed to be over… _that_. I’m just saying, you’re not well and I hate that you keep having to think you are. You’re allowed to cry. You’re allowed to hurt and,” Lexa stopped, trembling slightly inside. “You’re allowed to find someone who loves you and you don’t have to punish yourself for loving them back.”

 

It hit too close to home. It hit too close to her heart. With the way Lexa was looking at her, it seemed like she knew that to. Clarke had been lying to herself for a very long time, but this thing… this thing she was doing with Lexa made her feel alive again. It made her feel like she mattered. The way Lexa cared for her in a way no one else, but her father could. It made Clarke happy again, and that thought terrified her.

 

But Clarke was sick of hurting. Because she was with this beautiful girl who looked at her like she actually mattered and Clarke wanted to be better for her. She wanted to be enough for her and didn’t think she was.

 

Clarke didn’t think she could make Lexa happy in the way she did. She didn’t think Lexa wanted her in the same way she did. Clarke didn’t think Lexa _loved_ her in the same way she did.

 

So, Clarke answered. Not in the way she wanted and certainly not with the answer Lexa wanted to hear, but she wasn’t ready.

 

Not yet.

 

“Thank you for that.” Clarke tried not to sound as awkward as Lexa felt. She knew it wasn’t often that Lexa said things like that and was very aware that she was blowing it. She wasn’t sure what this was. She wasn’t sure if that was a love confession or not, but she knew Lexa wasn’t going to talk about it anymore.

 

Clarke tried not to show her disappointment, even if she was the one that single–handedly ended the conversation.

 

Clarke was glad when the knock sounded on the door and they ate dinner that night in silence.

* * *

 

 

“So, you and Lexa, huh?” Raven asked as she cuddled up to Clarke’s side. Her friend’s warmth, sending a chill through her.

 

Clarke groaned against her. She wasn’t in the mood for this. It was their last night here and Clarke wasn’t _ready_.

 

They were all back at the bar, sprawled out everywhere.

 

Lexa was dancing awkwardly with Anya and watched as Anya looked around like she didn’t know who she was, which only made Lexa dance closer to her.

 

There was a small smile that graced her face, when they caught each other’s eyes across the dance floor. Lexa bent her knees again, failing miserably to keep in time with the beat of the song and Clarke was trying to stifle her laughter.

 

By the side look that Raven was giving her, there was no point in lying.

 

“I mean… yeah,” Clarke took a sip of her beer and scrunched up her face. She had no idea why she chose beer, but she was already halfway through it now. “Sorta. Kinda.”

 

Clarke didn’t know the right way to describe her and Lexa. To describe them.

 

Then, a thought occurred to her: “How did you–“

 

“Oh, come on,” Raven was smug in her words, knowing that she got this right. “All those nights you would ditch me and Octavia to hang out with her and now you invited her on our spring break. I figured there was something there. Is there?”

 

“I don’t know, Rae. I don’t know how to explain it, but I care about her.”

 

“I know you do,” Raven answered skeptically.  “She’s alright. She can actually hold a conversation about astronomy and not that shit people just google to feel smart. We actually go into debate about theories and it’s cool.”

 

“That’s the dorkiest thing I’ve ever heard.” Clarke snorted and looked over to her best friend, chewing on her lip, worried written on her face.

 

“It’ll be alright. You guys will figure it out.”

 

“I don’t know, Rae,” Clarke whispered out. “With what we are doing, I’m afraid I’m already messing it up.”

 

“What are you guys doing?” Raven asked in confusion and took a gulp of her drink.

 

And then it dawned on Clarke: that no one knew of what they were doing. Clarke could’ve told Raven. She really could. She could’ve let someone else know what was going on between them, but Clarke wasn’t ready. What they were doing and why they were doing it was very sacred to both of them. Clarke really didn’t feel like being judged right now, so she stood up.

 

“I’m going to go get another drink.” Clarke said and rushed inside.

 

“Wait, Clarke!” Raven called after her, but Clarke was already inside and far away from Raven. “Clarke!”

 

But Clarke was already long gone by then.

 

* * *

 

 

Getting back into the flow of things like getting to class on time was a struggle to Clarke when she got back. It had been a week already and Clarke felt like she was literally dying with how much work she needed to do.

 

During the weekend, she practically lived with her textbooks to get her assignment due on time and now she was taking a much needed break.

 

It was Tuesday, which meant she didn’t have any classes and she had been waiting around all day for Lexa to finish her classes.

 

She hadn’t talk much to her this passed week, both of them so busy with new projects and assignments for their classes.

 

Clarke couldn’t help but wonder if she had ruined her chance with Lexa. She didn’t even know if she had a chance to begin with. Just because she was sleeping with her, didn’t necessarily mean Lexa wanted to be with her.

 

Clarke was only helping her out, and had to put her feelings aside.

 

Lexa couldn’t possibly want to be with someone as damaged as her. Lexa was using her to get better in bed and Clarke had to respect that. But that didn’t stop her from thinking about her. (Was Lexa even hers to think about?)

 

If it was one thing that Clarke did know, they both sucked when it came to their feelings and realized that maybe this situation was best for both of them.

 

Lexa was too awkward and Clarke had no idea what she wanted.

 

But that didn’t stop her from reaching out.

 

She could only go so long without Lexa. Even before this arrangement.

 

Lexa may not want her in _that_ way, but she wanted her in this way and Clarke texted her before she could back out.

 

 **Clarke** ( _5:30 PM ) Can you come over tonight?_

 

It took a while for Lexa to respond, probably busy doing homework. Clarke didn’t want to feel like a burden, but they missed hooking up yesterday. Clarke also didn’t want to sound desperate before she remembered that they were both using each other right now.

 

Clarke’s phone buzzed against her desk minutes later and she was more than ready for her response.

 

 **Lexa** _( 5:40 PM ) Be there in 10_


End file.
